


Things we agree on

by CCCcat



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alpha Steve, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Dub-con body touching, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Issues, M/M, Omega Danny, Panic Attack, Prejudice, Reference of harassment, mostly happy, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-18 03:52:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCCcat/pseuds/CCCcat
Summary: Steve has a secret. Danny also had a secret. And when their secrets collide, there is no one to blame but their own hesitation and, you know, just what they all say:“Don’t trust alphas.”





	1. Chapter 1

(1)  
The day starts out good. Well, Chin called and said that they got a case, and that mostly means somebody is dead, so it’s not that good, but it’s good in general. 

Good that he gets to tell Chin he will get Danny, earns himself a legit reason to sneak into Danny’s place, watch his soft messy blond hair on a pillow, wake the cantankerous man, cook him some coffee, as always, Danny is too sleepy to notice how he is smiling like he has a huge crush on the guy, which he does.

Things go as planned, only better, “I will get out of bed if you rub my hair, babe.” One-clearly too sleepy to notice whom he is talking to- Danny Williams says.

“Grace is not here, sorry man.” Steve talks real loud instead. Danny grunts miserably with the realization that today is the first day of a whole two weeks he doesn’t get to see his daughter.

“That’s very nice of you, McGarrett.” Danny sits up on his bed, voice without his usual irritation like he is still asleep, hair sticking out in various angles, “Instead of bacon and eggs, I get the brutal, heart-breaking truth, very nice.”

“Come on, Danny, we got work.” He sticks the coffee into the hand of the sleepwalker, and Danny clenches tight as if it’s his lifeline.

“You, you are happy, aren’t you.” On their way to Danny’s car, Steve suddenly gets the daily ranting out of nowhere, not fair. He hasn’t done anything wrong so far today.

“This is Monday morning and we have a murder with two victims, and you are happy. My friend, you are insane.” Danny complains loudly, “What is wrong with you, huh? Nobody is happy on a Monday morning.”

“I am not happy. I’m just... feeling normal.” Steve shrugs. He’s not lying, this morning has been good, and he’s just gonna take the normal route of hanging out with Danny after work, maybe he will talk about the flirt and tension that’s driving him edgy, maybe he won’t, maybe he will do that tomorrow, Friday could be a better choice. Bottom line, this is week is gonna be it. He’s spilling his heart.

“That’s incorrect, my friend.” Danny says, and Steve waits for his comebacks, but it never come, Danny seems weirdly distracted today.

“You ok, Danny?” Steve casts a glance at him quickly. Danny is not the type to hold back anything that bothers him. Or he tries and fails. He can just give it time.

Maybe Danny found about his secret, and is not taking it well. Steve wonders, hoping it’s got nothing to do with it. 

“Yeah, no, I mean.” Danny rubs his hair, licks his lips and keeps his eyes on the window, “There’s something I gotta tell you, Steve.”

“Do tell, then.” Steve eyes Danny warily; he wouldn’t dare to think Danny is about to tell him the same thing he is trying to say. 

Danny is troubled by something else and possibly Steve’s reaction to it, that’s what he is thinking now, but he can’t honestly think of a single thing worth this kind of frown on Danny’s face.

“You know, it’s nothing.” Danny waves dismissively, letting out a long breath like he’s been holding in this whole time.

“No, Danny, it’s not nothing.” The curiosity and worry sparks, he not gonna just let it go, “What is it, Buddy? Is your family ok, is Grace—”

“Yeah, yeah they are ok! Nothing is wrong. It’s not what you think.” Danny blurts out, shaking his head, “You just can’t let this go, can you?”  
“Yeah, you are right, I can’t, not when you are clearly messed up by it.” 

“I—I’m not messed up! What are you talking about! Could you just drive? Please. Let’s just wait till we get to headquarter, you are not the only one I have to say this to, ok? That’s your problem right there, you always think that everything is about you, plus physically incapable of waiting—”

“Ok, ok, I will wait, ok? Jes, Danny.” Steve almost shouts, that’s the only way to cut Danny off. He can tell Danny is nervous by the non-stop chatter. That means Danny is not really angry with him, he rarely is, he just got some steam he needs to blow off. And that’s…fine, that’s a good start for the morning, he can make this work.

Still, with all his determination to impress Danny for the day, man, the suspension is killing him.

 

“Morning, Kono.” Steve leads their way into the headquarter, already impatient, Kono is standing by the computer, looking cozy and nods at him, “What’s up, Boss?”

“Where is Chin?” He looks around, “Get him, Danny has an announcement to make.”

Danny glares at him but says nothing. Steve smiles a little, and Kono gives them a knowing look, she grabs her phone couldn’t fast enough, “Cuz, where—” 

“They just found the third victim.” Chin pushes the door wide open and speaks in a hurry, “In a house two blocks away near the last scene, a renter heard screaming and called 911, the HPD just locked the place down.”

“And when is this?” Danny follows instantly, while Steve is still caught up in the ‘Danny is telling his secret ’ part.

“Just ten minutes ago.” Chin says.

“Which means out perp could be still in the area.” Steve is fast thinker and there’s a murder, “We need to go right now, I want full lock down in six blocks, road-blocks, security-checks and everything, and no aircraft gets into the air.”

“Copy.” Chin nods, on his words, everyone starts to move outside. He lingers, looks at Danny.

“I will do tell later, it’s not urgent, it’s fine, it can wait a little longer.” Danny says like he can read Steve, “And Lou is not here.”

“So you don’t know what he is going to say?” Kono is ahead of him, and stops to ask, “I mean, I thought it’s about you two…”

“I wish I do!” Steve sighs, “He’s been fishing me with that all morning. I think he did that on purpose.”

“Ok, just, never mind.” Kono smiles suspiciously, runs off to catch up with Chin, leaving him no chance to ask.

“What, what on purpose?” Danny walks up, being even harder than usual, “Oh, so it’s just my genius that we happen to have a hot lead and Lou is not here this morning.”

“He will show up before lunch.” Steve moves again with Danny, walking fast toward the car, Danny almost has to run to catch up with him.

“Don’t worry, Steve, I won’t skip, I said I will tell you guys, and I promise,” Danny says, waving his hands, murmuring in a way like he’s saying this more to himself than Steve.

“Good.” Steve just nods, and gets into the car. Good, because now he kinda wants to know, really, really, really bad.

 

“They locate the perps already?” They hurried off to the site the HPD told them half way. They got the three-man professional killers pinned in one old building.

“Yeah, apparently something unexpected happened, ” Kono runs to them, Duke just briefed her in, “And that’s where the problem is.”

“What’s the problem?” Steve is already putting on his vest. He is always going in, no matter what happens.

“One of the perps is an omega, and he has just got into heat.” Kono breaths out and then take a big sniff, “Yeah, definitely, I can smell it from here.”

“Ok, is Lou here? Get him, we are going in.” Steve now smells it too. He should have picked it up sooner if he isn’t so distracted.

“Wo, wo, wait there.” Danny steps up, dramatic as always, “You are going in? There is omega in heat in there, and you are going in?”

“Yeah, Danny, I was trained for this in the Navy. remember? It’s not like I haven’t done this before. You got problems?”

“The problem, ”Danny shouts like Steve is the biggest idiot in the world (which he probably firmly believes), but Steve really can’t tell what he is doing wrong, “is that there are potentially two more armed, Dangerous professional killer in there, who is not affected by the omega.”

Yeah, Danny is right, he can admit it to himself. The other two in there are probably betas that is not reacting to the omega heat or he would have smelled them, which makes means upper hand for the other bad guys.

“That’s why I’m taking Lou,” Steve waves it off. It’s no big deal. They will be two against two, right? They are gonna be fine.

“Not good enough for me,” Danny insists, practically blocking Steve’s way to the building, “I’m going.”

“What?” Steve frowns, ok, now this is crazy, ”I will take some other beta HPD officers if that troubles you that much.”

“No no no no,” Now Danny is doing that cute thing with waving his head, but it’s not like Steve will let it gets to him, “No need to put them into this, I will go.”

“No offense,” Steve is totally lost now, he looks at Kono, silently apologize to her too. “I love you, man.” Damn, this shouldn’t be coming out this easy, “But you know when omega is involved, we can’t trust alphas who are untrained and conditioned over and over again. So you just sit this out with Kono and Chin as always.”

Kono looks offended either way.

“I know that,” Danny is rubbing his nose now, and Steve is losing his patient, “I will be fine, it’s not gonna be a problem.”

“What? Oh right, you are just mysteriously trained as a SEAL or something over night, Danny, that’s, that’s—”

“Could you shut up just for a second! ” Danny rants, now his face is red and he is pacing, uneasiness dripping out of his skin, “And get Chin, please, just please.”

Danny looks like he just couldn't keep his mouth close for a single second. “I want apologize before hand, I wasn’t deliberately being difficult, I know this is an emergence, but I have been trying, and I was saying it today, and now this. So I figured, screw it, you never get the perfect timing you know—”

“What’s up, bud?” Chin walks into the circle with Lou, but they are cut off by the way Danny looks, he is at almost-panic-attack level nervous, waving a lot of limbs and got that pleading look in his eyes.

“Cut to the chase, man.” Steve interrupts, when Danny is agitated, he can go off topic all day, and they don’t even have ten minutes now.

“Ok, ok, what I’ve been trying to say is, ” Danny stands still and for the first time in the morning, glances at everybody and looks at Steve in the eye, “that I am an omega, so I’m not affected by the smell.”

Steve has no way to explain the sudden tightness in his chest, but it doesn’t feel good.

“Ok? I am terribly sorry I kept this so long. I will explain when we have the time. Like I said, timing always sucks, right? We good now? Can I go in with you guys now? I mean, shouldn't we be moving and having bad guys to catch then—”

“Yeah,” Steve is the first one to snap out of it when Danny ends their eye contact, “Yeah.” He holds his gun tight, “Let’s go, Lou, Danny, you two with me. Kono, get the map of this place and keep us in if anything.”

“Yeah, sure.” Kono says, still staring at Danny, and whispers as they walk by, “We need to talk about this, and we will.”

“Yeah, yeah, I assure you, I will talk to all of you, I am an ass, I lied, I know—” Danny can’t look more guilty in his life right now.

But Steve is letting the chance to rub him in slipping away, because he is not thinking about this, not now, he can’t. 

“Let’s go.” And as he brushes past Danny, he shows it, the rage and hurt he is suppose to suppress and not think about. 

He sure is angry, Danny shouldn’t do this, not as his partner, his friend among other things. But as an omega, Steve doesn’t really know how he should think, just, you can’t trust alphas, right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is very used to talk about Danny's problems, but not so great with his own issues

They are walking past the third door on the fifth floor, when Steve’s omega-scent disturbed mind suddenly came up with a thought.

He gestures Lou to take the lead, who shoots him a worried look. He shakes his head, then scoots over to Danny.

“Why don’t you say you are a beta if you don’t want people to know you are an omega. Why say alphas?” Steve whispers, leaning his head to Danny to keep his voice low, until he realizes,  
he can’t be that close, he is an alpha, one not exactly in his right mind with the heat smell gets stronger and stronger.

“Why do you care?” Danny whispers back, elbowing him to move faster, “Is that your weird way of being upset? Do we really have to have this conversation right now?”

“I’m not upset.” Steve pouts, “You got…your reasons, it’s fine.”

“Yeah, of course it is. Then can we catch the bad guys first, please?”

“Just that the HPD is gonna know, if you walk out here with an omega in heat, they will know you are not alpha.” Steve says, he’s just being logical and sincerely worried for Danny.

Danny stops to glance a look at him, he bites his lips, “I’m done hiding.” He says the words with strong determination and equally strong volume, causing Lou to turn back and hush at them.

“See, Lou is all professional and cool, why can’t you just do that too, McGarrett.” Danny waves a hand, as if Steve is the one that just spoke really loud.

“He only knew you for one year.” Steve says, man, he is offending a lot of his teammates today.

Lou definitely gives him a look, Steve shrugs. He will make it up to Lou. They are still tight.

“Now I am in this, I gotta say, the man is your partner for five years, he deserves to be mad.” Lou nods at him and says to Danny.

“I’m not mad!” Steve sticks his head out, and both Lou and Danny give him a you-stupid look.

Wherever this conversation is going to lead to is cut off by loud footsteps and heavy cursing.

“Should just kill the fucking omega whore.” Said a man, and Danny’s eyes darken. Steve is not having this. They burst in. Results in Danny and Lou taking the two perps down, and the killer-omega-in-heat crushes right into Steve.

Steve grits his teeth and holds his breath for the longest minutes as he cuffs the guy and storms out of the building, dragging the omega with him. Danny runs after him.

“Book him, Danno.” He shoves the guy towards Danny once they are outside in the open air, his voice sounds weird to his own ears. The omega smell causes several alpha offices to step back. 

They know that too, they know you can’t trust alphas, not when omega is involved, which Danny doesn’t seem to get. Because he hums “Yeah” and gives the perp to another officer while he walks straight to Steve, grip him hard on the forearm, “Breath, Steve, just look at me and breath first.”

Steve lets out the air he doesn’t know he is holding, and gluts his lungs with sweet oxygen.

“You can let me go now.” Once he is breathing smoothly, he realizes how hot Danny’s hand feel on his skin, making it burn through his body right down to—

“Oh no.” If anything, Danny’s grip tightens, and he starts to direst Steve to the car, out of the corner of his eyes, Steve sees Kono walking their way. 

Steve slides in to the driver’s seat in record time and drives.

They call Kono and Chin on the road, to ensure their continued existence once they meet up at the headquarter.

“She’s only gonna be more furious, you know that, right?” Steve asks Danny after a moment of silence. The underlying statement “You are gonna face it with me right? Since we ran together”. Hopes to lighten the mood.

But Danny doesn’t take his way out, instead he asks, “What about you, you mad at me?”

Steve sighs, “Told you I’m not. I’m you best buddy, Danny. We are good. Nothing’s changed.” He says, trying to believe in himself rather than to think of how Danny has been not trusting him for five years.

It’s understandable an omega can’t trust all these alphas around. But when the Danny is the omega and he is the alpha, it’s suddenly all sorts of heart breaking.

Danny looks pissed for no reason, out-raged even, “No, we are not. Because I know what you are like when you are not mad. And this is not you being not mad, this is you being a red-rage alpha and you don’t wanna snap at me because I now am an omega, I am delicate. No, this is everything changed just because I said one single sentence and somehow—”

“No!” Steve yelps and snaps his head at Danny, for a moment he really is angry and terrified how Danny thinks he is an asshole like that, but when he looks and Danny, he gets what Danny is trying to do. And he’s not taking Danny’s bait.

“No, I totally respect you to take your time and tell me your secret when you are ready,” Steve turns his head back, gripping hard at the stirring-wheel, his voice going lower and air hitches in his throat. “I just hoped it happened sooner. ”

Steve waves his hand, “I’m just saying, Danny. Five years is…is not as short as I would like.” He sighs, and suddenly realizes, he is not lying, he’s not all mad, mostly, he’s just frustrated, frustrated and hurt and maybe just a little angry. “But I am still grateful you told me.”

Danny’s mouth twitches, like he isn’t prepared for what Steve just said, like he is stunned but happy. “That’s…very nice of you, Steve, Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Steve grunts, they drive back to the headquarter in silence, Danny looks at his own hand like he’s doing some serious thinking, and Steve just stares right ahead and does not think at all.

 

Kono gives them hell for literally just bolt from the crime scene, and Chin does not help them because all the explanation he has to do for their weird-ass behavior and also that even good-man Chin is upset about Danny’s concealment.

At least they are not talking about him, so he settles in the judgy side and cast half-hearted glare at Danny.

Kono gives all sorts of reasons why they deserve to be trusted, and it’s “not cool, brah” to hide it that long, because, ”Hey, you know we always have your back.”

In return, Danny tells them how he’s been using ways to hide it, how he gets pass HPD, and how alphas do intimidate him a little bit, but he knows them well, and he’s done hiding. Steve  
just stands there, lost in the warmth and nods along the way, saying things like ”Yeah, man, you know we love you no matter what.”

“I now know I deserve, we deserve not to live the rest of my life in lies.” Danny says. And Kono goes up and hugs the hell out of him, then Chin. Lou clasps him on the shoulder. 

Danny looks so happy and relaxed, grateful and proud, causing Steve’s thought to go from ”Where is my hug? No hug for your best friend?” to just enjoying how warm his chest fell just  
watch Danny smile, wrinkles crunching around his eyes.

“So why would you hide it in the first place?” Kono asks, pretending to be casual and easy. Steve is almost relieved, the question seems so right from her. He wouldn’t know how to ask, how he would, or should handle what he will hear.

Unfortunately, Danny doesn’t seem ready. “It’s a long story for another time.” He just smiles, and ducks his head. The cousins’ pleading and pushing eye is can be very powerful.

Steve suddenly realizes Danny is looking at him, tense around his mouth, while Steve is just caught up staring into the blue eyes, “Yeah,” He clears his throat, ”Let’s just call it a day for now. And how about we go grab some drink. Danny here, ” He jerks his hand at Danny, “Will be buying the first round.”

“And the second.” Kono says, Danny just laughs.

“And the third, I’m in.” Chin clasps Danny on the shoulder and gives him a toothy smile before walking out with Kono. Danny takes it with a raising eyebrow and guilty smile.

“Bless your wallet, man, wo, how about some juicy hamburgers, too. My wife says no drinking. ” Lou comes around and adds.

“You got it, man.” Danny smiles with sincerity and hugs Lou as well.

“You alphas and omegas are just so much fuss.” Lou laughs and shakes his head, hugging Danny back tight.

“You don’t say.” Steve says, and Lou steps close to him, “Speaking of which, you ok back there this morning, McGarrett? You look bit freaking out there.”

“I’m fine.” Steve gives a sharp nod, “Just, you know, alpha crap.” 

“Yeah, you and your alpha crap, McGarrett.” Lou shrugs. Danny steps close so he heads out as well, murmuring things like “That pair of ridiculous dummies. ”  
Danny smiles at that and Steve follows him. 

“What about you, huh, I know you are gonna cost me, so just hit me.” Danny spurs around, and scoffs, waving a hand at the general direction of Steve’s face, “What’s, what’s with that face?”

“What face?” Steve grins some more.

“That, that thing you do with your face that makes you look like you are up something. ” Danny rolls his eyes, “Ok, for once in my life, I deserve this, so just tell me what you got in mind.”

“I got a question.” Words slip out of his mouth without control. Danny visibly tense.

“Okay.” Danny purses his lips, “Okay, just ask.”

He shouldn’t be asking, this is nonsense and contradicting the part where he just said the nothing has changed. But the words are on his lips, he will have to say it or kiss it away. The latter can’t happen.

“Do you still trust me?” Almost like a whisper, he blunts out, ducking his head.

Danny stares at him, he looks guilty and a little pissed, but when he walks into Steve’s personal space, he reaches out and pulls Steve into a hug.

“What are you talking about? Of course I trust you, you goof.” Danny hugs him hard, and Steve rounds his arms around Danny and squeezes back.

“And I am sorry, Steve, I really am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Danny’s voice breaks a little, like these words have been held inside him for far too long, “I should…I wish I had told you sooner. I trust you, Steve, with my secrets and my daughter, is that good enough?”

“Yes, it’s good enough.” Steve closes his eyes, refusing to let go of Danny’s embrace.

“Do you?” Danny seems to indulge him, ”Do you still trust me?”

“I do.” Steve answers without pause, “I trust you, I l—” Steve bites his own tongue and hug Danny tighter to distract him, “Thank you, Danny.”

He breaths out with content because he really needs it. Against his better judgment, Steve doesn’t know if he can trust himself to not do wrong, especially about Danny.

“Okay, let’s go before Kono starts tapping into high liquors.” Steve pats Danny’s back and ends the hug. 

Danny opens his eyes, and nods, looking a little lost, “Yeah, we better.”

 

“I will give you another chance because you are not a jerk today.” Danny says bluntly on their way back. It’s already dark, they had loads of fun in the afternoon, and neither of them is too drunk, Steve thinks about asking Danny into his house for some beer.

“What?” He asks half-heartedly, the evening wind feels so good.

“I will answer one more question.” Danny says.

“I got no more question.” Steve shrugs, and grins at Danny, “But I will save the chance.”

“Nope, no, that’s a one time offer, babe.” Danny pokes Steve on the arm. Maybe he is a little more drunk than Steve thought.

“You told me, in the bar, a while back, that you wanna ask me something. I’d like to know what that is.” And he adds hastily, “Just because I interrupted you to grab the last slice of pizza, and I feel bad.”

“You’re curious.” Steve points out with joy, “And you stole that pizza from me. ”

“No, I’m not.” Danny exclaims, then cuts himself, “So are you gonna tell me or not.”

Steve actually feels like it but he thinks better, “Nah.” He shakes his head, “Not necessary, you wouldn’t know the answer.”

Yeah, that thing about if Danny can love him. It’s best that Danny doesn’t know and not think him as the asshole alpha that takes a sudden interest in him when he turns out to be an omega. He wouldn’t want Danny to think that way in the slightest.

It’s so easy to lose trust in an alpha.

“So I know before and now I don’t.” Danny’s voice gets firm and suddenly Steve is more awake, “Does that have anything to do with me being an omega? What, it’s a, an alpha thingy?”

“No!” Steve swallows, trying to play cool, “I mean, yes, but it’s just biology stuff, Danny, like, you wouldn’t know unless you are an alpha or a biologist.”

Shit, what is he saying?

“That sounds interesting. Enlighten me.” Danny demands. Steve doesn’t like the look Danny is giving him, like he’s a sexist and a liar.

He’s not gonna be both.

“Okay,” Steve drawls, will his shoulder to relax, “I just wanna ask you if you ever date alphas?” Or would maybe to date one now, like the one sitting next to you.

Danny laughs, “Seriously, Steve? Just because I am faking alpha, you assume that I have never date alphas? I am an omega, Steve, for god sake, I am no saint even I can be a little freaked out. You can ask me all you want even if that makes things a little creepy.”

Steve tightens his finger at the image of Danny with other alphas, being their omega. And reminds himself he doesn’t have the right to be angry, he is not Danny’s alpha, he does not want…is not going to make himself Danny’s alpha.

“I don’t wanna know.” Steve grunts, waving a hand, “I mean, I was trying to ask you, as an alpha, have date any alphas? And maybe how it’s done.” And maybe I can show you if you don’t know.

Danny looks at him for a second, long enough for Steve to start blushing. Steve looks out from the corner of his eyes, and sees Danny runs his hand through his hair. His voice quiet when he speaks, “Basically, you want to know what it’s like to fuck alphas as an alpha.”

Steve nods, air freezes between them. Steve checks and double checks, did he screws up somewhere? Danny hums. They fall into an unusual distressing silence.

“So, you are, seeing an alpha?” Danny asks.

“Kind of.” Steve answers, hands sweaty.

“Yeah, cause you haven’t figured out the part. That’s…you will get it, Steve, that’s good. Good.” Danny says fitful, taking a deep-breath, “Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.”  
“That’s fine, Danny.” 

The uncomfortable silence starches on.

Steve sees Danny’s house up ahead, he wants to turn away and just drags Danny to his house, and then he doesn’t want to. He pulls into Danny’s driveway

“I can’t tell you much about dating alphas.” Danny suddenly says, voice cracking as if his throat is dry. He is looking at the house, rubbing his hand, like he would rather just stay in the car.

“Fucking with them, yes. But dating, not a lot. I don’t exactly make good mate-select choices when I am young. What I know is probably not gonna happen to you, and I sure as hell wish it doesn’t. ”

“If they still disturb you, you know, you have a gun and you have me.” Steve cuts in, almost growls. Yeah, the alpha that makes Danny hides his scent for five years from some of his dearest friends. Steve wants to press for a name, to make someone bleed, to say that I will defend you and I will protect you.

But when is Danny Williams the type that needs an alpha to defend him? He’s Steve’s backup. Danny doesn’t want an alpha, Steve better just forget all his moves for his own sake.

“It’s in the past, Steve. And have some respect for the law, what have I been teaching you in the past five years, huh?” Danny leans over and rubs his shoulder, only then Steve realizes his tooth is clenched tight.

“Did he, if it's a he, get what he deserves?” Steve forces words out of his mouth after the longest time.

Danny laugh humorlessly, “Yes, Steve. Yes, they do.”

Steve feels like his jaw is going to break.

 

“It’s history, Steve. You know, then I met Rachael and I realized dating betas and other omegas are also an option. So, after the marriage, for alphas, it’s straightly fucking, no dating.”  
So Danny does get it, how you shouldn’t trust alphas.

“Not that I’m saying alphas are bad or something, I mean, look at you guys, you are the most amazing people I’ve ever met.”

“See, Hawaii people are great and they grow on you.” Steve asks, working his facial muscles to a smile.

“Yeah, maybe, no.” Danny relaxes, “I take that back.”

Danny looks at his house some more and “So, if you wanna come in and maybe I can tell you more and you will understand just—”

“No,” Steve jerks his head, climbs out of the car. He can’t just sit around and listen to how they hurt Danny. How long he can keep himself to not shout, not hurt them back, or not grab Danny and kiss his scars away.

Danny will probably shot him. Like he said, Danny has a gun now.

“Probably another time, Danny, it’s late and—” He breaths, in and out, slow. This time, he knows exactly where he screws up.

“Yeah, yeah, shouldn’t be keeping you from your alpha girl/boy friend.” Danny turns around and Steve can’t see his face, “I’m sorry, Steve. Goodnight.”

Steve doesn’t say ‘goodnight, Danny’ before he drives away. He hates himself, hates to leave Danny alone, and goes back to the house alone.

But alone can be good, it’s only ok to be weak when you are alone. The McGarretts only suffer in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the story still needs beta, so it will take a little longer to post. Please tell me if you think my work is out of character, this is my first time writing them. I'm still adjusting myself into the Mcdanno dynamic.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve flips out, in a bad way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of conversation in this chapter

(3)  
All hell and heaven break loose. Steve decides, at that day he walks into the HQ with Kono, and a sweet smell makes him stomach crunch.

Other people wouldn’t say so, and he would concur that for the most part, that day, too, is a good day. 

They don’t have a case, so he and Kono go to the beach to hit some waves in the morning. He calls Danny to drag him along, but that just gives Danny a chance to complain all the paperwork that Steve leaves him, and how people like Steve doesn’t know how to appreciate the sweetness of some extra half an hour sleep.

“Well, we will be back before lunch, call us if there’s a case.” Steve says, can’t help but smile when he hears Danny grumbles at him for nothing in particular at the other end of the call, 

“And have fun with the paperwork.”

“Yeah, they are the funniest things in the world. You know why, you shameless—” Coffee machine beeps, and there’s some shuffling sound. 

Suddenly Steve can see in his head how Danny tugs the phone between his ear and shoulder, so he can grab the coffee and continue yelling at Steve at the same time. 

He waits Danny out, “You finished? Cause we are missing the morning wave.” Kono grins. Danny hums something and Steve takes that as an agreement.

“Ok. I love you.” Steve says, words just jump out of his mouth. “Yeah, I love you too.” Danny says to him, and Steve hangs up before Danny has the chance to say something more.

“So you two back in love again?” Kono asks him. He can see that she is still not happy about the week of unhealthy tension after that day Danny comes out with his secret, and particularly that really awkward night between them.

“Yeah, we sort things out.” Steve says with a smirk, happy and proud. 

They really did, they went over to each other’s houses a couple of time, had a few long talks, Danny told him s bit here and there about what he suffered and Steve did his best with both verbal and silent support.

And they talked about Steve’s new alpha girlfriend, which does not exist. So Steve said they were not considering taking things that far this quick. He also apologized and dabbled a little bit about how he is not in his right mind that night.

All in all, Danny seemed satisfied and they are best friends again. Steve finds that he missed that like hell and would never want their friendship to end.

But the little fixings just weren’t meant to last.

 

“Did you smell that?” Steve says, can’t help sniffing, “Damn, it makes me hungry.”

“Yeah, I smell it too.” Kono looks around, “I don’t think it is food.”

Steve pulls his gun out. Kono follows him suit.

The only one in there is Danny and he immediately raises his hands with a sandwich in his left. “Wow, wow, wow, guys, chill, would you, it’s ten in the morning for Christ’s sake.”

Steve pockets his gun, goes up and takes a huge bite out of Danny’s sandwich, “Man, did you make this? It smells good.” He muffles with a mouth-full of sandwich. Kono looks at them, still confused.

Steve is about to ask her when he tastes the sandwich in his mouth, chicken, plain, and some vegetable.

It’s not the sandwich that smells good.

Steve’s eyes widen, he stares at Danny while swallows the sandwich as fast as humanly possible. Danny sighs and nods, “It’s me. I’m off blockers.”

Kono takes a few big sniff while Steve holds his breath.

“Brah, that’s you? God, Danny, you smell good.” Kono says with real amazement. Steve’s hand jerks.

“Thank you very much.” Danny flashes her a proud smile.

Yes, the smell is good. So good that the hunger burns all the way down from Steve’s stomach to his crouch. He tries to remember his training, that he’s so much better than to be so disturbed by the faint sweet smell that he is howling deep in the back of his throat.

His heart jumps faster; his pupil dilates so much he almost can’t see. Damn it. Steve’s nail is digging into his own arm, hard enough to draw blood. He is biting his own tongue in his mouth but he barely feels it. 

He tastes iron on his teeth. His throat and lungs are burning. Normally, he is able to not even flinch even in another omega’s heat room. But this is Danny, fuck, this is Danny. Sweet smelling and heat and—

Something pokes his on the arm. He jerks his head up. Danny and Kono are staring at him.

“So…” Danny clears his throat. Steve blinks hard, once, twice, now he can see them clearly, and air starts to come back into his body, he relaxes.

“So I was just asking Danny what the blocker does. Danny said you would explain it.” Kono cuts Danny’s sentence, pulling a smile onto her face, but her eyes are worrying.

“Yeah, blockers.” Steve rubs his face. Still trying to catch his breath while suddenly his knee is weak. He clears his throat twice before keep on talking.

“Basically blockers are like a three in one. Conceal scent; prevent heats or ruts; and birth control.”

“You use them too?” Kono asks. 

“Yeah, almost everyone in Seal does.” Steve nods. Danny is still just looking at him, making him wants to run, but his limbs are still weirdly powerless, so he does nothing.

“That’s why I’ve never smelled your scent before.” Kono exclaims, and fells a little awkward, “Brah, I used to thought you were a beta.”

“I wish.” Steve shrugs, “But, well, my profile doesn’t lie.” He pointedly turns his head towards Danny. Danny hums and does not take his bait.

“Well,” after looking him in the eyes for the longest, and almost makes Steve wants to squirm—but he stands his ground, he always does— Danny says, “I would say there’s no one could be more like an alpha than Steven here.”

“Yeah, think so.” Kono shrug, and when she looks at Steve, he can tell that she is begging for a case to drop as he is now.

God takes pity on him, his phone rings.

 

God clearly doesn’t pity him that much because the case ends way too easy and the drive back is way too long, and Danny is not keeping quite. Why would he even think that is possible anyway?

“So?” He asks the fifth time he sees that “I have something to say and I’m not going to shut up if you give the chance” expression on Danny’s face, and he gives in. 

“Nothing.” Danny waves his hand dramatically, “Just, aren’t you going to say anything? To my show of good faith? ”

“Show of good faith?” Steve raises his eyebrows.

“Yes, this, me, with my scent. This here, buddy, is a sign of trust of me towards you. What? You are not going to say anything? Something nice? Cause I will tell you right now that is very rude, Steven. ”

Steve smiles at Danny’s use of his full first name. “Ok, ok, Danny.” He put up his hand, and makes a scene of taking a big sniff, “You smell really good. Your scent is unparalleled.”

“Unparalleled? Really?” Danny exclaims, “That’s very nice of you. So would you please explain why it gives you a panic attack?”

Steve’s heart thumps and starts running a mile. “I did not have a panic attack.”

“Oh, just because you are still standing doesn’t mean that’s not a panic attack.” Danny huffs, “I’ve been through enough to know, Steve, you just had a panic attack two minutes after you smelled me. I’d like to know why.”

He remains silent because he can’t tell Danny what he doesn’t know. 

“I don’t know, Danny, I really don’t.” He settles for the truth when Danny looks like he’s about to snap.

This feels weird, not knowing, and makes him feel strangely chocked, like he doesn’t fit in his own skin.

“Ok, ok. ” Danny shrugs, “I mean, do you have an omega phobia, Steve, like a psychological condition or something? You can tell me if you really do.”

“No!” Steve raises his hand and lands them hard on the stirring-wheel, “Omega phobia? Danny, is that even a thing? You don’t actually mean that, do you?”

“Then, how else are you going to explain this, and, and that day, where you almost suffocate yourself with that omega in heat?” Danny looks furious but he is oddly held together. “You never did that before.”

Steve rubs his face again, “Exactly, Danny, it’s just a one time thing. I don’t know. You said that thing that day, I guess I’m just shocked and I lost it a bit.”

Danny pouts and nods, “Ok, it’s bullshit, but I’ll take it. Then what about it today? What’s the big news today?”

Steve thinks, he thinks really hard, but he can keep scratch the surface all day long, he knows deep down— a place he is not willing to look at right now— that he’s not going to find squat.

So he just goes for what he knows, “You, your smell is really strong. And I can’t say, maybe it really smells that good, and I’m hungry, and—”

“Just wait here a bit, Steve, we will get back to this, but about that.” Danny interrupts suddenly, less pushy, “I guess I should tell you, man, I assumed you will figure it out yourself, but.”

What? Is this related to what he said? Steve doesn’t even know what he said.

“What are you talking about?” He frowns.

“You know blockers, right? What happens when you stop taking them?” Danny clues him, acting like his fifth-grade chemistry teacher.

“Eh, your scent comes back after four days,” Steve pulls his semantic memory, “The heats come back in two weeks and—”

He snaps his head towards Danny, no more is needed. His mouth is dry when he speaks, disbelieving, “I thought you would be taking meds that prevents heats alone.”

“I’m not.” Danny shrugs, “I’m not, it’s been a long time and I think I deserve a chance of enjoying myself. ” He keeps glancing up at Steve, but Steve is not really hearing him right now.

“Even if things are not necessarily how I planned…Wow, wow, what are you doing, Steve!” Danny shouts at him, but Steve is not listening.

He calls Chin and Kono, saying they are gonna head straight home. He didn’t hear what they said to him, he just hung up. Danny starts yelling at him.

“What the hell, I mean, what the literal hell is going on with you, McGarrett!” Danny grabs the door handle to steady himself, “First of all, you are driving like a lunatic. And I mean lunatic, not just your usual perp-chasing level of crazy. This is even worse, what is happening, Steve? ”

Danny looks at him, even jabs a finger at him, which sometimes sets him off or turns him on. “And you got this face on, Steve, I know this face, thing don’t end well when you got that face on, ok? Things get blew up and people get hurt. So talk to me, what is happening?”

Steve can’t find his speech right now, because his brain is in combat mode and right now, talking is not necessary. He doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t want to think. Thinking about Danny in heat with another alpha, Danny doesn’t know what he is getting into, he is just gonna get himself hurt again.

He can’t even tell if it’s Danny who’s being stupid, or he is.

“You are not having a panic attack in the car, are you? Cause if so, I want to be driving! Did you hear me, Steve?” Danny curses. 

“What did I say to set you off this time? You are insane, and you really need to warn me if words like omega or heat would somehow, suddenly, only in this month in five years, give you a psychology breakdown. Where are you taking me?”

Danny only asks because he now knows well exactly where Steve is taking him, this is the road he passes every time he goes to Steve’s house.

Danny closes his eyes a few times, fear rises.

That doesn’t get better when Steve pulls into his driveway, hauls Danny out of the car, pushes him through the door and slams him into the wall.

“You are not going to heat with another alpha, Danny, you are not doing that.” Steve shouts, growls in his throat, his face shut down and blank.

His body pins Danny down on wall, and suddenly Danny goes still. 

Steve’s brain starts to function again as he watches Danny takes a few deep breathes, and then hits him in the face, knocking him back.

“You are fucking scaring me, McGarrett.” 

Now, finally, Steve is thinking. God, what did he just do?

“God, I’m sorry, Danny. I’m sorry.” He scrambles back up, talks nice and soft while he keeps his distance with Danny, “I, I freaked out.”

“Because you think I am going to fuck other alphas through my heat, and you are not taking that. Why is that, Steve, why is that?” Danny marches over to him. 

He is so fucking truly pissed, Steve can tell, he allows himself to be pushed back by Danny until his back hits the wall. 

“Why?” Danny says every word with a jab to Steve’s chest “am I not allowed to fuck other alphas?” 

Steve can’t think of why, that’s when he knows he’s fucked up, big time.

“You are my partner, Danny, I’m just worried.” He tries to sounds convincible, and failed even to his own ear.

Danny laughs low in his throat, dry and hurt. “Just so we are clear, Steve, I’m your partner, I’m not yours, you have no right over what I do, my lunch choices, maybe, but who I fuck is  
none of your fucking business.”

Steve nods. His hearts sinking down and down when he sees Danny’s eyes turns a little glassy. He nods again, swallows, and forces words out of his mouth, “Perfectly clear, Danny.”

“Ok, good. And second, you tell me one more lie, we are done. We are done here, and we are done for good.” Steve’s brain pains over the words, but all he can do is keep nodding.

“Now, tell me the real reason you just did all that shit you did.”

“It’s not safe.” Words leave Steve’s lips soft as air, but it feels like they turn into a tornado and smashed into his house.

Danny pushed his so hard that his back hits the wall with a thunk. “It’s not safe?” Danny’s voice trembles as he walks away from Steve, Steve walks after him, he doesn’t dare to step  
close, but Danny comes close and pushes his on more time.

“As if it’s not safe to sleep with alphas I picked up from some bar? As if it’s not safe to walk alone when approaching heat? As if it’s not safe to have a job which makes all your coworkers alphas while you have your scent out?” Danny jabs at Steve some more, and he keeps doing that even Steve swaps his hand away every time. They are both one the edge, swaying.

“No, Danny, ” He tries, but Danny ignores him. “As if it’s not safe to work, to have a life, to do anything other than staying the fuck at home, getting fuck by your alpha and having pups.”

“No, oh my god, Danny, no.” Steve winces at Danny’s words, hurts more than a stab.

“Then what?” Danny looks at him, pushing his guards, demanding for an answer. But the more Danny pushes, the harder it is for Steve to let his guard down. He can’t dig his heart out when he feels so weak, so scared of losing everything.

“It’s just the heat, Danny, you will be very weak—”

“And you don’t think I can defend myself, that I will do my homework and I will insure my own safety?” Danny closes his eyes and deep-breathes again, “Maybe you should remember while I am a vulnerable, needed- to-be- protected omega, I am also an adult and a detective.”

Danny’s voice is calm now, disbelieving and disappointed, ”I didn’t expect this of you, Steve. I honestly didn’t. Not you. I mean, how could it be, you are kind and you have a big heart. I mean, ”

“Danny, no,” Steve pleads, “I do not believe in that, you know that’s not possible. I trust you.”

“Then you lied to me again.” Danny’s voice does not change a bit, “What did I just say about that?”

Steve watches with horror when Danny starts to back away towards the door. Danny is going to leave. Danny is gong to leave hurt with the belief that Steve is in fact, an asshole.

Danny is going to leave with all his trust and hope in Steve broken down and Danny will never talk to him again, no, he can see that clearly. And Danny is never going to open up to anybody else if he learns that he would only get hurt again.

Didn’t he start the whole thing so that Danny won’t get hurt?

“Danny, please.” He says, biting his bottom lip, he’s not coming to tears, even if that could maybe get Danny to stay.

“You get one more chance.” Danny says after the longest time, hands clenched tight.

Steve knows that sometime if the moment’s lost, things can never be fixed. The words hiding at the back of his throat finally flows out.

“Because you can’t trust alphas, Danny. You don’t get it, you can’t trust them.”

“You mean except you?” Danny asks skeptically.

“Including me. It’s not about who we are. It’s a biological thing that you just can’t trust them. They are gonna hurt you, I’m gonna hurt you. ”

“No, you are not.” Danny walks back.

“I can’t trust myself with that.” Spilling truth like this hurts, tearing him out, but Danny is now sitting across him, so it’s good.

“Then how will you hurt me, and when and why?” Danny seems to be thinking, Steve hates being analyzed like this, but he’s got no choice. 

“We hurt you when you let us in, and there’s no why, it’s just the basic biology that can’t be controlled.” Steve swallows, he doesn’t want to talk about how, “And we will break your trust.”

“No exception?” Danny asks.

“No exceptions.” Steve says it as if that’s one of the strongest beliefs of his life. Which suddenly hits him, maybe it, in fact, is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split the original chapter into two. Maybe a little bit out of character here, please tell me if so. And typos too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past and the traumas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of talking in this chapter, reference to past trauma.

“You, my friend.” Danny says when he reaches out for Steve again, “have some really serious prejudice. ”

“No, I don’t.” Steve stares at Danny.

“Yes, you do. Prejudice against your own kind is also prejudice. And it’s not so rare that we don’t have a name for it. We have, it’s just prejudice.” Danny stands up again and starts to pace around the room, much calmer and happier even.

“So you are not mad at me now?” Steve asks stupidly. 

Danny gives him a shrug. “Guess I’m not.”

“So you are not mad at me if I got prejudice against alphas instead omegas.” Steve settles into his couch, his brain and heart and basically the whole body start to get back online again.

“You can say that when omegas are the focus.” Danny throws up his hands, “I can be a little—”

“Over dramatic.” Steve cuts him.

“Overreacting is the word.” Danny narrows his eyes, “I’m not dramatic.”

“Yeah, always know you are a drama queen, Danny.” Steve grins.

“Ok, why can’t you just admit I’m right?” Danny turns around and throws an ice bag at him, “Sorry at your face, buddy. I get, overacting.”

“Yeah, I bet you are your own thing in high school. Drama queen with a very mean right hook, huh? ” Steve puts the ice onto his face, winces a little as a the adrenalin fades.

“I guess all drama queens have their own anger issues, I’m working on that.” Danny laughs, and Steve laughs too.

“Man, if that’s where your shrink gets you, he, or she, is not doing a very good job.”

“She gets me through plenty.” Danny says, faint smile disappearing on his face, “But seriously, Steve, you should see one too. Just, just consider this. What would you think if I say that all omegas are natural whores and all they do is lures innocent alphas into raping them when they are in heat.”

“I would say that’s bull-shit fucking crap, Danny.” Steve sits up, agitated, “Did somebody ever say that to you? ”

“No, yeah, I mean, that’s the same thing, that’s why you can’t say all alphas aren’t meant to be trusted.” Danny searches Steve’s fridge while he’s at it.

“But—” Steve tries to say, but words fall short, he bites his lip instead.

“I mean, you trust Kono, and Chin, and me when you think I’m an alpha. And I trust you guys too.” Danny closes his fridge, “I mean, just not you taste in food.”

“But you are still eating things from my fridge.” Steve points out. Danny finishes chewing in two seconds.

“The point is, ” Danny says, “You really need to see somebody, this gotta stop. Talk about it, those people, they are really good at making you realize where your problems really are. ”

Steve doesn’t think he needs that, he knows where some parts of his problems are. He knows exactly, it’s just not something he likes to think about, or usually wants to think about.

“Oh! I get it.” Danny says dramatically, waving his hands up and down, “You just can’t talk about feelings, can’t you? Push your partner through the door and yell at his face to warn him at alphas, sure, why not? But sit down like a normal person and talk about feelings in peace? No, you would rather be in that yelling match minutes ago.”

Danny shakes his head, “Just let me guess, does it has to do with your dad? Or your mom? Or your training officer in Seal?”

“Danny!” Steve yelps, “Why do you have to involve my family in everything?”

“Because your family is a big mess. Joe included.” Danny shouts back, “And an authority figure is the most likely to influence your view of things…Don’t laugh at me, McGarrett, This is true. ” 

“Not laughing.” Steve says with a grin on his face.

“Trust me, I know what it was like, Steve. You know, my aunt, she’s also an omega…” Danny stops abruptly, realizing he just slips.

Steve wants to know. So he waits. Danny doesn’t continue.

“My aunt, Aunt Debby, I mean. She is very supportive.” Steve offers, and Danny takes the bait almost immediately.

“Well, mine is so not. She said some very mean mean things when I decided to join the police academy. Then She introduced me to Andy. And she’s on that fucking guy’s side every time   
we argue, told me that omegas should be submissive and we are no good without our alphas. And I believed her.”

Steve remembers Andy, who’s number two on Steve’s ‘needed to pay a visit and shot repeatedly’ list is he ever set foot on Hawaii.

Danny told him that Andy had beaten, molested him numerous times. And he even never wanted Danny to be a cop, he refused to let Danny go to class, locked him in the storage room   
for hours and almost get Danny kicked out of the academy.

Steve does wish him a horrible, horrible life. He can’t imagine such a world if Danny’s not a cop. 

“That’s just terrible, Danny. People like that, they are not your ohana.” It is kind of rare that he and Danny agree on anything entirely. They are such different people. But some part is clear: they are both broken goods.

“No kidding, no one my ma invites to thanks-giving talks to her anymore.” Danny stretches out a thin smile. In that moment Steve wants be like Danny, to be able to talk about with at least some ease.

But Danny doesn’t deserve anything he went through, while Steve is a different story.

Steve hates it, Danny sits across him, looking still a little shaken up after all these year. And suddenly Steve thinks of Andy, what kind of stubborn, controlling shit-head alpha he is. He’s sure he can be described as the same.

For a moment Steve wants to be open and soft, so he can know that he is different with the alpha that hurts Danny. He needs to know that Danny knows that, he needs to be sure.

“My dad was a beta, I think you know that.” Steve hesitates, sitting in this room, almost makes him feel like he can still taste these times, Danny looks at him with encouraging eyes.

“My mom too. He’s never had much experience with alpha in rut except these perverts they caught. So he didn’t know what to do besides doing what he always do. So he just locked me in my room till it’s over. That’s part why he sent me to Joe. And the way he saw it, be out of control like that was a weakness. One I shouldn’t have.”

“Guess he’s not getting Father of the Year here.” Danny mumbles.

“Danny!” Steve exclaims. “He did the best he could. Things were complicated.”

“When are they not with your family.” Danny sighs. Steve cracks open a smile when he feels that Danny is just caring about him.

”All right, Father of the Year awards goes to you, happy?” He pats Danny on the arm. Trying to cover the exposed and raw feeling echoing in his body.

“So, that’s your problem? Steve the control freak, that’s why rut and being near a heating omega makes you uncomfortable? They make you lose your precious control and leave you   
vulnerable.”

“What? Are you my shrink now?” Steve holds up his hand in protest, but Danny stares him down. (Ok, he gives that one to Danny easy because he’s still feeling bad)

“Yes, yes, I am. Lie on the couch if you want. Cause I know you wouldn't be talking to any other people about this.” Danny complains when Steve humors him and really lies down, placing the ice on his face and closes his eyes. This kind of feels good. He is having a relaxing moment here.

“I haven’t had rut or something like that in ten years.” Steve says, who is he trying to reassure? Danny or himself? He doesn’t know.

“That’s, that’s not something you should be proud of.” Danny says while shaking his head. “You have real issues if that’s what makes you that scared. You know what helps? Therapy   
does, you know when I… ”

“It isn’t.” Steve says slowly, heart pumping in his ears. He just has to tell Danny the truth today. He still wishes maybe he could get away with not telling the story.

“You don’t say.” Danny sounds happy, maybe, like he has won this one. “It’s never that easy, is it? You can’t fool me, I know better, buddy.”

“What?” Steve opens his eyes, and gets up with his elbows supporting him up, ”There are others? I want names, Danny.”

Danny laughs. Steve’s heart settles a little.

“No, Steve, it’s just…people.” Danny sighs, Steve is not used to Danny talking so calm and light like now. Whatever it is, it must have hurt Danny more than he let on.

“What people?” Steve observes Danny intensely, he doesn’t want push Danny too much. Now he knows, how hard it is to tell a story.

“Just people in the academy that don't know better, and some of these people who were in the same department once we graduated. The thing with Andy, not everyone knew what he did, who knows; maybe they just don’t like an omega holding the same job as they did. ”

Steve freezes. He tries to see the thing Danny says for what it is. It is a thing that happens, like when most of HPD calls Danny ’haole’. It just happens if the majority of a department is alphas and some alphas have a beef with Danny since the academy and are dick-heads. It’s so wrong, but it happens.

But how he knows that words can hurt, can haunt, can make you hunch low and afraid to look up at anybody.

“It’s actually not bad. At most high school stuff.” Danny continues, the coldness in the words makes Steve uncomfortable. But now he can tell that this is Danny controlling his temper. He doesn't know why, maybe Danny’s therapist thinks it’s helpful.

Still, Steve wishes there will be one day for him that he can say things out as easy as Danny is now. He wants that.

 

“You are going to report me for this? You know damn well it’s just a small mistake! That omega whore could be dead anyway, this is not my fault, Steve! It could easily have been you!”

“Aren’t we supposed to be families, what kind of friend are you? We ought to cover for each other. You just have to be the perfect hero, don’t you?”

“You are a disgusting rat.”

“That will be your failure as a commanding officer, McGarrett.”

“Words are, they got into this over some omega chick, McGarrett gets his dick in charge and, boom.”

“What I don’t get is how he gets to stay while Ryan doesn’t. Ryan is a damn good alpha soldier.”

“You killed her.”

“You should have know them better, son, you trusted the wrong person, now you pay the price.”

 

“What I haven’t expected is how this keeps going on even after I made detective and kept my head low. That I would be stuck behind desks because they used to believe omegas can’t handle alpha criminals.”

Danny takes a deep breath, “And it’s just the last straw when they gave an alpha partner who said, ‘I know you seduced Andy into fucking you and got him in trouble, I will not fall for your scheme, you can be your omega whore with somebody else. ’”

Steve shoots up, “Danny—”

“It turns out he is dirty as hell, and I send him to prison forty long years, Steve.” Danny adds quickly, a hand on Steve’s chest to stop him from springs up and tries to find some guy to punch.

Steve doesn’t lie back down; he stands up and paces around. He doesn’t expect where the conversation is going and how it gets him.

He spends so many times telling himself that he is not angry, that these people don’t know better, he wouldn’t be mad. But he is so furious with the people that said shit to Danny, he is so mad.

Maybe just somewhere along the way, he gets so good at conceiving himself. 

“How, ” He takes a deep breath, his head hangs low, “How did you get over all these?”

“Are you not listening, therapy and talking to other people. I’m the best example that they do help.” Danny sighs, “You wanna…share now?”

Steve shakes his head. But the voices refuse to leave him be. They never do.

“But, it does got better, right?” Steve asks, seeing some part that fits his theory, “Things do got better after they thought you were an alpha.”

Danny smiles like he’s answered this so many times, “That doesn't mean all alphas are dicks. You know, there are Chin, Kono. I’m not so sure about you though—”

“Danny, Danny, I would never say those things, I would never.” Steve bites his lips, his voice cracking, “I wasn’t, I’m not always like that.”

“So what happened?” Danny looks up and locks his eyes on him. Steve knows Danny is playing with guilt but he can’t help it.

He put up one last fight, “It’s, it’s classified.” It actually is, no one ever talks about it anymore.

“Yeah, I bet it is. But guess what, you have a very visible classified trauma.” Danny sighs in defeat, “Is there anyone you could talk to?”

There are, but he doesn’t wanna talk about it, he couldn’t.

He envies Danny once again. Danny knows how to do it.

“Come on, buddy, just try. ” Danny puts a hand on his shoulder, “I cares about you, could you just try for me?”

Danny goes to the fridge, fishing for the bear, and is looking at him for the longest time when Steve gathers his nerve, staring at the floor, hands clasped, elbows resting on his knee.

The sound of Danny drowns out the cry in the back of his ears. Steve closes his eyes again.

He needs to start somewhere.

“His name is Ryan.” Steve takes a deep breath, sees that face way too clearly, “He was twenty-two. He was also an alpha who is in there way too long already. We were close.”

The face stares at him, smiling, joking, and patting him on the arm. Steve remembers how the face looks purple when they held their breath too long in the training, that training, that was suppose to keep him from jumping any omega in heat. And he remembers how that face looks like red with rage and betrayal.

Sometime Steve wonders if he really did it wrong, yet, that scream.

Steve pops his eyes open, and he desperately searches for Danny, to chase the faces away.

He finds Danny sitting next to him; he didn't even hear him walking. Danny hands him a beer, he takes it with gratitude but doesn’t drink it. 

“So? You were dating him?” Danny asks, confused.

“No, no, no, we were partners, and we were send into our first mission together, it was to extract a dozen of civilians in the soon-to-be war zone. The people we are fighting is like two hours away. I was in command. The whole group split up. I was with Ryan when we found the civilians, and also the reason they were left behind. Two of them were in heat.”

There were two, but Steve only remembers the girl, the one with dark hair, brown eyes filled with terror, and her smell, sweet in the air, so sweet that it makes him sick, it’s the full-bodied smell of cursed death.

Danny slides closer to him. “I’m guessing it’s not you.” Danny says, and Steve nods, he looks back to the floor, hands clenched together until knuckle-white.

“Breathe, Steve. Breathe.” Danny rubs his shoulder. Actually Steve is still taking air, but he doesn’t say anything, he just thinks back. The whole thing is like tearing up an old wound, and he needs to get rid every last piece of stitches before he can patch it up again.

“No, It was Ryan. One guy was terrified, and stabbed Ryan in the arm, they were all shouting, it was chaos. And Ryan, I guess he just wanted the howl, to keep them quiet. But he wasn’t that trained, and there was no taking back. He jumped at the girl in heat. He had totally lost it. We all had the trainings, but it was different, “ It was actual human smell, with burning heat and warm flesh. Kept in one small house for days, it was so strong, strong as just shooting hormones into the veins. 

“He launched for the girl and I couldn’t stop him. I ordered him to stop, but he wasn’t listening to me.” Steve’s breath trembles. “Just, just like me today.”

“But you didn't do it, you did nothing. That day or today.” Danny wraps his hand around Steve’s, Steve shakes him away without realizing. He raises his beer to his lips and takes a long sip instead. Danny sighs.

“No, I did, I did what I have to do. I shot him in the shoulder.” He was stunned, his hands slow and he couldn’t pull the trigger until Ryan sank his teeth into the woman’s neck, and she cries, “Help!” Her crying terrified and cursing when she stared Steve dead in the eye, “Stop! Please.” She was shouting, crying, pleading, just to him. Cause Ryan was no more human.

That’s not even the hard part.

“It’s like what you said, Steve, it’s what you have to do. You saved that girl!”

“But that’s not all I did.” Steve digs his palms into his eyes, “I wrote Ryan up, I wrote in that report everything that happens in that room. And Ryan is discharged. ”

“I’m sure you had your reasons.” Danny looks at him, he is so sure, god, Danny trusts him so.

“Yes, there are plenty.” That’s true, but he wasn’t expecting Ryan would be discharger.

“But that doesn’t matter Danny. It would, if I really saved that girl.”

Danny squeezes his so hard it hurts.

Steve’s head jerks up; he looks straight into Danny’s eyes, the only blue in the world that could calm him down right now, that could keep him home.

“And when I started to evacuate the crowd, she smelled me and refused to come with me.” 

 

“You are an alpha! You are an alpha just like him! You are monsters.” The women cried. 

“Ma’am. This is a dangerous place. I need you to come with us.” He tried with his softest, nicest voice.

“I am not going anywhere with you! I will not trust an alpha!” She shouts and kicks while crying, “Uh, you are fucking hurting me!”

She was bleeding on the neck, weak in the heat. But the minute Steve’s hand lifted. She was gone. Steve ran after her but it was a lost cause, they were hiding here for days. They could not find her.

Until they did.

 

“I stayed around looking for her until it was too dark and they pulled me back.” Steve tries to blink it away, he ca…can’t.

“We found her the next morning. She was…” 

“Dead.” Danny fills his sentence, and now incredibly close, “God, I’m so sorry, Steve. I don’t know it was like this, I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“No, Danny, you don’t understand.” Dead, is certainly one of the words to say about her. Others are like raped, disfigured, horrified, pained and her smell. Her tormented heat smell is now the smell of death and disgust. The sweetness sweeps out of every drop of her blood on the floor, so sweet it was the bitter red death.

Everyone was paled by what they saw. Steve stumbled out of the door, he held his breath and ran, as far away as he could.

“No, I don’t. God, I wish I wouldn’t.” Danny holds him close, fingers pinching into his shoulder. Steve wants to kiss him when Danny hugs him, and he hugs back as hard as he could, knocking air out of his own lungs.

“But it’s not your fault.” Danny tells him, and Steve finds himself resting into Danny’s touch.

“They all said that.” Steve looked ahead, eyes losing focus as they become glassy. They didn’t. But he remembers when someone told him that he did his best. He did what he most. He is not wrong. The words at their clearest among all those years, when the mockery and disappointment always wins.

Yet he ruins both lives

“I never wanted anyone to get hurt.” Danny pulls out of the hug and his eyes refocused on Danny’s face. He crunches his nose. Trying to hide it. Danny smiles at him.  
He used to think of them over and over again, in the dark, alone, and his body trembles. He just let go and lies to himself later that he is not crying.

“I trust you, Steve. Of course, just besides all the bad guys I told you not to hang over the roof.” Danny holds on to him until he holds himself together.

“Come on, Danny, I didn’t really hurt them.” Steve smiles. Danny calls him goofy under his breath and Steve grins wilder.

“You really need a therapist, you know.” Danny eyes him warily, “This can’t be good.”

Steve shrugs and Danny glares at him, ‘This is PTSD, Steve, you know the one they called shell-shock because people back from the war usually has it. You need to get help.”

He actually got help before, from the military therapist, from Joe. But no one can anchor him like Danny does, like Hawaii now does.

“I wasn’t like you.” Steve looks at Danny, Danny pouts, “I wasn’t hurt.”

“But you are very traumatized.” Danny pats his knee, “I know you feel weak seeing somebody. But the truth is, it takes a lot more courage to do it than hide it away. And you, have the most brainless courage I know.”

“Thanks, Danny, you say the sweetest things.” Steve’s mouth curves up, resting back into the couch.

“That’s because I say the prettiest lies.” Danny rolls his eyes. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“Very nice of you to tug me in like a ten-year-old, Danno.” Steve walks up the stairs, unsatisfied somewhere that Danny is actually not following him, “And it would be nicer of you if you could recommend me some therapist, you know, when you hit home.”

Danny smiles at him and beams and scratches his ears, can’t keep the happiness off his face. He just loves it when Steve listens to his advice. And his eyes are dazzling right now.

Why doesn’t he do that more?

Right, cause just being him and pissing Danny off is also fun, and much easier.

“I think we will do that in the morning.” Danny pats the sofa. “This will be my home today.” Steve’s heart leaps at that.

“Somebody has to wake you up from those nightmares.” Danny just gets himself comfortable, he is kind of familiar with this couch, “I promise I will wake you up and not take videos.”

“Danny, Danny.” Steve sighs, shaking his head. 

He doesn’t need reminding why he ever fell in love with Danny; and why he shouldn’t risk their friendship.

 

The TV downstairs is turned on. The most annoying sound in the world that chases away his ghosts because it’s so boring, even ghosts can’t stand it.

 

And there, is where the heaven part ends. And hell starts raining on them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The vulnerability in who we always are is inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Panic attack; trigger of past trauma; angst

(5)  
Ok, getting smashed into the wall by Steve two times in a week is just a little bit too much. Danny chocked out a pained pant. What the hell is the deal with alphas and walls?

Steve kisses him before he can start ranting. Danny’s eyes falls wide open, staring shockingly at Steve who has his eyes closed, kissing Danny soft and slow. But his grip is firm, pinning Danny on the wall.

Some of the white powder falls off Steve when he ends the kiss. It makes Danny cough. He spits it out as fast as he can, but the taste, the smell is all too familiar to him. 

Heat powder. A small bag of it would smell like an omega in full heat.

“You smell so good, Danny.” Steve murmurs to his ear, purring like a cat, his hand burning on Danny’s skin.

Oh, God. They are so fucked. Danny leans his head on the wall so he can keep breathing. So not fair, today is a bad day already.

And it just keeps getting worse and worse. Vulnerability 

 

The start of the day is already bad for a Friday. First, is his up-coming heat acting up. He may feel a little weak in limbs and a more sensitive on the skin. But no way in hell is he gonna give up going to work and having Grace over for the weekend.

And Steve won’t shut up about that. 

“What did I tell you about your control issues, huh? And how you need to let me deal with it myself, Steve, my therapist told me it is critical that I don’t let an alpha,” He points at Steve, who looks very offended. He should never have helped this jerk, “decide what happens during this whole period.”

“Can you just humor me, Danny? Promise me if alphas are involved in the case, you would stand down?” Steve sighs. Danny can tell pleads when he hears one. Well, at least Steve is not having a panic attack, that’s a start.

“No, I can't. And you know Kono is going to give you a hard time if you order me to stand down.” Danny closes his eyes briefly, and breathes in the very faint alpha smell of Steve. It’s important to stand your ground before the only scent you want to take into your body.

“Yes, she would. I’m sorry.” Steve rubs his face, “I am just worried.”

And there comes his second problem. Steve fucking “I care for everyone except myself” McGarrett. 

“Don’t you think that we should wait for back up?” Danny trails behind Steve with his gun out, “Before we run into a gunfight with four bad guys.”

“You can stay out here if you don’t feel well. I can go in alone.” Steve turns back and says, caring expression on his face and misses Danny’s point entirely.

“No, you are not.” Danny huffs, when is he ever gonna get Steve to listen? “There are four of them, Steve.”

“Yeah, thanks, Danny. I can count myself.” Steve looks up and down at the warehouse and Danny does not like the expression on his face.

“But you clearly can’t think.” Danny hisses at Steve, “Why can’t you just wait for the rest of the team?”

“Because they are removing the package as we speak, Danny.” Steve quietly yells at him, “I’m going through the second floor, are you covering me or not? Don’t say yes if you don’t trust me.”

Danny shakes his head in defeat, “Yes, Steve, I trust you.”

 

“Why the hell would I think it’s ok to trust you with your crazy-ass plan? ” Danny yells, runs towards Steve who is now covered in white.

Steve, as planned, went in through the roof, Danny barged in through the door, took out the guy in the front. Steve got rid of the two other bad guys in the back, but wasn’t fast enough to kill the third one before he is shot in the arm and fell right into the middle of the giant package.

“Now you are covered in cocaine, great.” Danny drags Steve out from the big mess. Steve looks a bit spaced out. God, Danny hopes Steve had held his breathe.

“It’s not cocaine, Danny.” Steve says weakly, his limbs working against Danny.

“Then let’s get out of here and figure out what the hell this is. I am not going to die because you are the world’s biggest idiot and bang into a whole warehouse of drugs.” Danny is getting dizzy too. They need to get out of here, right now.

“No, Danny.” Steve drags his back. His strength is not right for a guy whose eyes are glassy. What could it be if it’s not cocaine? “There’s somebody in there.” He points to a small room in the corner.

 

The guy claims to be a scientist who was kidnapped to make the white powder for them.

“What are they, exactly?” Danny really needs to know. Steve looks bad, worse by seconds.

“Heat powder.” With the answer Steve turns pale in a flash. “Get him out here, Danny, get out of here.”

He does not want to leave Steve behind, Run away from him like Steve is a monster. He isn’t. Danny wants him to know that.

But they all know what heat powder is, it’s the thing that turns alphas into monsters. And judge by the quantity Steve inhaled, Steve could might as well be turning into a freaking werewolf.

Danny is so disturbed that his detective brain is taking the job off to focus on Steve. And neither of them see it until the guy pulls out a gun, and Danny shots him, he runs, falls, hits a button, and the door closes before their eyes.

“Danny!” Steve shouts at him.

“It's ok, it’s ok.” Danny pants, “I’m fine, I’m not hurt. I shot him in the chest so he wouldn’t get far.” He looks around, yeah, he’s alive, they are fine, no bad guy is getting away, yeah, they are—

“Danny.” Steve says to him with some sort of desperation, “We need to get out of here.”

Yeah, and that. They really need to get out of the room that’s starting to smell sweeter than Danny now. Sweet in heat, Danny dips his finger on some powders, puts it close to his nose, and a strong smell of heat nearly over-flows him. 

And Steve is covered in that thing. Danny looks up to see Steve banging on every wall. He tries the door, it won’t move.

“Steve, the door is locked.” Danny swallows. Steve is so agitated, Danny’s brain tells him to run, the alpha before his eye is too on edge to be safe. The big problem is, he has nowhere to run.

“Then try the wall, maybe in that cabinet, or maybe come here and help me, Danny, let me see if I can reach the roof.” Steve paces around the place. Danny can see how his hands tremble, his legs jerk. He looks so out of his skin that Danny’s first instinct is clear, that he’s lying.

He takes a step back when Steve approaches him. “Stand there, Steve.” His hand trembles as well as he points his gun at Steve. Steve looks hurt. God, he doesn’t want this, he takes another step back.

“Please, Steve. Stay where you are.” Danny tries to make his voice not tremble and fails. “Chin and Kono are gonna be here soon. We are not getting out of here until then. Let’s just stay where we are, please, Steve.”

“Shit, Danny.” Steve rubs his face and lowers his head, he looks so defeated that it makes Danny pain, “I’m sorry, you are right, I’m so sorry.” Steve stops; Danny can hear a little sob from where he is standing.

“You know what?” Steve’s voice is a bit too broken. Lust or pain, Danny can’t even tell. He just knows that he is scared, too scared to maybe give the right call. He hopes with all he has that Steve does nothing stupid; that somehow Super seal can still has this under control.

“You should cuff me.” Steve searches his pocket, “Fuck, I don’t have my cuff. These plastic leashed aren’t going to work. Tell me you brought your cuffs, Danny.”

Steve looks at him with sincerity and desperation. “Yes, I do.” Danny searches his pocket with one hand while the other holds the gun.

Steve holds out his hand. He stares at his own trembling hand, looking lost and broken like a child. The part of Danny that wasn’t broken wants to hold his close, to tell him you did nothing wrong to deserve this.

That part is no match for his fear. After nearly twenty years, it still hasn’t ease away.

He holds his gun tight as he grabs Steve’s wrists. “I’m really sorry, Steve. When this is over—”

There’s a sharp pain in both of his wrists, he hears the gun hit the ground. Then he is pushed onto the wall by Steve’s strength, held down by a hot feverish body pressed against him.

Something is rubbing his leg. Something hard and heavy and smells very alphay.

Then Steve kisses him. A soft and warm kiss. It’s actually good until Steve’s hand finds his crouch.

If anything can give him a panic attack, this is it. Danny can feel the air stop coming into his body. It feels like slow motion as tears fill his eyes. He opens him mouth, desperately wants to breathe. But he is not successful. 

His hearing goes out first due to the lack of oxygen, and then black spots start appears before his eyes. He remembers the exact feeling of this time period before passing out. The last time he found himself in a situation like this, he was twenty-two and in heat.

“Don’t fight it, Dan. I will give you a good time.” He can’t tell is the sound comes from reality or his memory. But the lips on his cheek are definitely real as hell.

Fear takes over him. He cries, pushes and kicks, leaving bruise on Steve’s body. But Steve holds him down. He is turned face to the wall. Steve catches his wrists in his hands.

A cry escapes his mouth. He fights with all the fight in him but it does no good. It never did. But now he is thirty-eight and his mind clear as day, besides he got away before. 

Yet Steve is not a dick-head college boy. Steve is a fucking Seal. Danny doesn’t stand a chance if Steve wants him.

Danny feels an itch in his neck. Steve’s tongue follows immediately, licking the powder off his neck, sending shivers down Danny’s body.

He has to screw shut his eyes to prevent tears from streaming down his face like he’s a fucking weak whore.

“God, Danny, why do you smell so good? ” Steve buries his nose in Danny’s neck. His hard dick presses on Danny’s ass.

Danny almost goes into another panic attack, his wrists fighting under Steve’s palm with no good, and he screams. Breath, he talks to himself this time, like how his therapist has taught him.

He needs a way out, he can’t panic.

“Did I hurt you? Sorry, Danny.” Steve’s grip loosens, still tight, but the pain is more bearable, “I just, I don’t want you to go. You smell so wonderful.”

Steve maybe a deadly Seal, Steve is also …Steve.

Steve may be the fast-thinker, but Steve is not in his right-mind. Steve is open and trusting, like a little kid, like a wild beast.

Danny is at the point that he will do anything to get out of this; no matter how much he will regret it later.

“I’m not going anywhere. You can let me go.” Danny tries to laugh, but his laugh is low in his throat, no humor in there. “You trust me, right?”

“Yes, yes, Danny I do.” The hand pinning his is gone, and suddenly he is facing Steve again, looking right into the lustful eyes. Danny has to turn his eyes away.

Steve’s free hand is running up and down again, and at once Danny whishes they are still on his wrists. He pins Danny on the wall hard, won’t let go.

“But I want you bad, Danny, so bad. You smell is unbelievable. You are amazing, Danny.” Steve licks Danny’s earlobe, he whispers into Danny’s ear. “And you don’t want me. You will run away.”

“No, no, I won’t.” Danny fights his own tremor, his squints his eyes to avoid the tears. Only god knows, he is telling the truth.

“But this is wrong, Steve. Wrong place, wrong time, and very, you better trust me, very wrong circumstances. You don’t really want me. ”

“Why would I not?” Steve smiles with content as he hugs Danny close and kisses Danny on the lips again. Steve always had the best smile, confident and teasing. A part of Danny doesn’t want this moment to end despite himself.

Because he knows he is not going to see that smile again for the longest time when this is over. Hell, he may even not able to see Steve for the longest time. 

The hand runs up into his shirt, touching his bare skin, setting all his nerves on fire. And Danny’s breathe chocks.

“See, Dan, You want this, stop pretending like you don’t. You need me, you leaking whore.”

Voices haunts Danny, fear towers over Steve’s humming with sweet satisfaction.

He has to do this, even he is really really sorry.

“Because you are going to regret this, Steve. Just like Ryan would if he isn’t dead.” He says to Steve calmly, but he avoids Steve’s eyes.

Would Steve please let him go so he can stop talking?

“And the girl, do you remember her smell, after what happened? Do you want me to smell like that too, Steve?” He asks in painfully composure. He just broke something that maybe he can’t fix. In the fear that he would be hurt again, he decides to hurt Steve instead.

“No.” Steve shakes his head, he looks like a kid waking up from a nightmare, “No, Danny.” His eyes full of terror. Danny tries to imagine what Steve has in his mind. The girl smells like death and pain.

He is so sorry. But pain speaks for him, how good it is at finding its own kind. “Then you need to let me go, Steve. Or I will be like that too, because of you.”

Steve’s hands are gone, but his body still hot against Danny. 

“Are you really going to do that to me too, Steve? Is this what I get for trusting you?” The shout comes out in frustration and desperation. Danny stops himself suddenly, only now realizing that it’s his panic talking, but it’s too late now.

“No.” Steve shakes his head, and pulls away from Danny as he pulls for his gun. “I will never let anything happen to you.”

Danny is too late to stop him from shooting his own arm. Danny’s heart stops beating for the split second as blood splatters and he thinks he is going to lose Steve, the pain suddenly overwhelming, pumping his heart to the edge of explosion.

He scrambles for his gun. But Steve throws away his gun. Blood streams down form his other arm.

“What the hell! You just got shot!” Danny shouts with all the air he just got back into his lungs. When Steve looks at him, it’s his Steve again, but off, a little off somewhere.

“It’s only a scratch, Danny. Pain clears your head” He hands the cuff over to Danny, “Cuff me on the pipe.”

“With a bleeding arm?” Danny doesn’t move. He is shaking. This is just absolute madness. What did he do? What did he say?

He just torched his friendship with Steve, that he is sure.

“It doesn’t matter, police is gonna be here soon.” Steve says like he’s fine, when Danny knows he is not, “I can’t hurt you again, Danny.” Steve pleads.

Danny does what Steve says. And Steve winces a little when Danny cuffs his injured arm behind his back.

Danny tears a piece of Steve’s shirt to wrap around the wound. Steve yells at him to go away. Danny stares his down. “You need to learn to be thankful to people helping you, buddy.” He says blandly, can’t muster any of his usual rage.

“Ok, it’s good now, thank you, Danny.” Steve looks at him with big eyes, “Now could you please walk away, Danny?”

“Where? We are locked in.” Funny, a moment ago he was saying dagger to get Steve away from him, now he doesn’t wants to leave.

“Anywhere I can’t reach, Danny. It’s a big warehouse, I’m sure you can figure out a place.” Steve glares at him.

Danny walks off, and sits down opposite to Steve, back against the wall. 

“I’m really sorry, Steve.” Danny rubs his eyes.

“Yeah, me too.” Steve says quietly, Danny can see how red his eyes are. Then Steve ducks away his head.

Danny guess it’s his punishment that he deserve to sit and wait. And watch the sanity goes out in Steve’s eyes, and this time he can see the entire struggle, the fear, the pain, all turns into mindless lust. And Steve starts to howl in his throat, yanking at the cuffs hard enough to cut himself.

Danny sits through another panic attack. 

Steve doesn’t want to hurt Danny; he shoots himself in the arm to ensure that. Danny doesn’t want to hurt Steve either; yet he does exactly that in the worst way possible.

He spent twenty years mastering how to protect himself. He doesn’t yet know how to avoid hurting the one dearest to him. 

He should know better than anybody how hard it is to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes a little bit off. I don't wanna go too far in the angst, please tell me if I did. Also unbetaed, so please tell me if you see anymore typos.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing with Danny and Steve is that they always get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the comfort, maybe, in the latter half

(6)

All the time on the hospital bed is spent counting every waking minute that Danny hadn’t appeared through the door. 

Even like that, somehow, when he hears Grace’s voice outside the door, he still dreads. 

Should have just gone home. 

Home turf makes him feel better. But he is still on sedatives for all the heat powder that has his pulse jumps like a machine gun. So he is not going anywhere for the weekend. 

He remembers that Danny has Grace this weekend. He wasn’t sure Danny would bring Grace, he wasn’t sure Danny would come at all. 

“Just wait here a minute when I talk to Uncle Steve, ok?” He heard Danny’s soft, loving voice. 

It would make sense if Danny doesn’t want him near Grace.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself when he finally hears Danny’s footstep approaching. 

“Steve, come on, I know you are awake, Kono just text me.” Danny saves him the trouble of pretending asleep.

“Danny.” Or would Detective Williams be better? Would it hurt less if he just starts distancing them from now on?

His takes his eyes off the ceiling and searches Danny’s face desperately when he realizes nothing he can do now can ease the pain.

“So, how are you holding up, buddy?” Danny pats him on the arm, something about Danny is different, but he can’t tell what exactly, just knows that something’s off.

“Doctor says I would be home in tomorrow, maybe.” Steve raises his arm weakly, hates the feeling, “If I don’t mess with the sedatives.”

“Yeah, I’m sure some doctors here would be glad to put you down. You are an ass as a patient.” Danny mocks with no real acid. 

Steve, however, is focusing on the girl with the brown hair barely in eyesight at the door. Grace, he thinks, he would never see her again too. The girl turns her head and smiles at him behind Danny’s back, reminding him just how much he has to lose.

“Danny, listen, I’m sorry for what happened.” He says, looking back at Danny. He wants to fight for it, any chance he gets.

“Yeah, about that,” Danny shoves his hands in his pockets, shoulders tense even he tries to make himself look relaxed, “It’s not your fault, Steve. ”

“Here, that’s what I want to say. I’m fine, Steve, I’m ok. Don’t beat yourself up about it. We will figure things out, right?” Danny asks carefully, like he is just saying precisely what Steve would want to hear.

Steve nods anyway, he wants a chance too bad. “Yeah, we will figure things out, Danny.”

“Good, Steve, that’s good. I mean, I don’t want things to get awkward, you know we can’t handle awkward. Then I would have to leave, and I don’t know where to go to,   
Steve. You know what, I know a therapist that maybe we can go to, together, or, or just maybe separate if…”

He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. 

He snaps his eyes open again. Danny is talking, talking. He blurts out, “You are on blockers again.”

That’s what’s wrong— Danny’s scent is gone. The scent he has grown so familiar to within the matter of days.

It means they are back to the stage weeks ago, the stage where Danny doesn’t trust him enough. Just this time, Steve knows exactly why.

Traumatized or not, he is right after all. Just the way he and Danny come to realize that is not a way he likes.

“Yeah, yeah, I mean. It’s been pretty busy these days. All the drugs in that warehouse. The rest of the team is all working extra hours. I just got the weekend off for Grace. So it’s just, it’s not the best time to go in heat.” Danny scratches his forehead, sighs, “It has nothing to do with you.”

Yeah, just like why Danny hasn’t even called for the whole Saturday. Steve should know better than to think he will get a second chance. He has hurt Danny one time, and that’s one too much, he’s not keeping himself around for that to happen again.

“Besides, somebody’s gotta watch you.” Danny says softly, he touches the back of Steve’s hand briefly. Steve can’t tell who flinched away, maybe they both did.

“I will be fine. I will be out in the afternoon.” Steve says flatly, keeps all his feelings inside him. He wants and he wants, he really needs this.

“Wow, what about the doctor who said tomorrow would be a better time? You are on sedative right now, Steve, how are you even planning on standing up by yourself this afternoon?”

Danny’s really more agitated than he should be. Steve thinks, at least it’s normal, so it’s comfortable. He can listen to that for a whole five minutes before he feel asleep, but right now he has to get it, for he may never gets it again.

“Danny.” He calls weakly, as usual, ignored.

“Listen to me, if the doctors say you are going home tomorrow, than you are going home tomorrow. I’m not taking any risks, ok?”

Ok, this is a way too concerned Danny Williams, what happened? Did he also get run over by a car or something? Or is Danny’s emotions really that messed up?

“Danny, Danny, Danny!” He raised his voice up two levels, which finally stops Danny. He freezes right in the middle of a sentence. 

Shit, did he yell at Danny? God, he didn’t want to.

“Danny,” He says as light as he can, rubbing his eyes, “Can I see Grace, please?”

Danny stares at him for the longest time. Like he is going to say no. And Steve almost stops breathing. He would beg, just on last time, he would say, I just want to see her one last time, then I will be gone and you will be safe.

But before he run out of oxygen, and has to open his mouth to let out the pleadings. Danny nods, and next thing he knows is the tightest hug from an eleven-year-old, 

“Uncle Steve!” Grace calls him, and it’s the best thing he ever wants to hear.

God, he loves Grace as much as he loved her father.

He would give everything to not lose this, but then again, this is his everything.

 

He is home by eight and after slept for two days, he is still tired. Steve sags into the sofa and thinks in his mind what he should pack. 

He goes up to pack like he always does when he goes on a mission some time. But he is more and more lost as he packs his clothes. He thinks about how Danny said he doesn’t know where to go. Well, Steve doesn’t know either.

Here has been home, every time he leaves, he thinks about coming back. He is going to miss the hell out of the life he has here. He doesn’t want to leave.

But if he and Danny don’t get things right, one of them has to leave. 

He knows, this is Danny’s home too. He can’t take that away from Danny. Danny is the victim. And it would be better for Danny if he leaves, Danny has suffered enough, he doesn’t deserve some alpha pinning after him like Steve.

He wonders if he hasn’t fell head over heels over Danny, would he still want him, hurt him like he did.

This is for the best.

Just, he really doesn’t know what to pack. 

He has too much to think about. Steve sags into the sofa, rubs his eyes with his palms. Maybe he would admit to himself, in the dark, that against his better judgment, he doesn’t know who to live without a home, without Danny. He wants to be selfish and stays around.

But he has to leave, Danny is afraid of him and Danny doesn’t trust him.

It’s his life or Danny’s.

This is not how he imagined where they would end up.

“This is not how this should be.” Steve whispers, blood pumping in his ears, he can barely hear himself talking. The smell, sweet like honey and rotten with death. He stares at the dark-hair girl lying on the floor in a pool of blood.

His stomach crunches, he stares as the smell begin to change, slightly, but he can tell the difference, because it’s Danny’s smell now. Mixed with horror and pain.

“No.” He shakes his head, “No!” He wants to run, and backs up into something.

He finds himself looking through the bullet hole between Ryan Jefferson’s eyes. Ryan pats him on the arm like old times, “Guess you and I are the same after all, Stevie. 

Come on, we can get along again. You know,” He points to his head, “No big deal. We are still cool, mate.”

“I didn’t.” Steve thinks he says, he can’t hear himself anymore. He hear Danny now, “Is that what I get for trusting you?”

He doesn't want to turn his head, but he does. Danny is lying in the blood now, his smell stronger than ever, dead, and cankered.

Steve throws up, over and over again until his throat hurts so much, tears fall out involuntarily from his eyes, he is on the floor and he can’t get up, he is—

 

The footstep wakes him.

“Who is it?” Steve reaches for his nightstand but ends up patting the sofa. He reaches for his belt and finds his gun.

“Hey, hey, calm down.” Danny turns on the light, “Are you sleeping on the couch or just sulking in the dark?”

“Danny?” Steve stares, greedily taking in the sight of Danny’s face, alive and well. And a little shocked after he gets a good look at Steve.

“You, eh,” Danny steps close, vey close, and wipes Steve’s face with his thumb, Steve realizes that his face is wet, “There you go.” Danny swallows and clears his throat awkwardly.

Danny turns around, paces aimlessly in his house. Steve stares up at him. He wants this to last forever.

“You know, Grace, she doesn’t want to me to cuddle with her to sleep anymore. 

Apparently she is too big for this. I mean, just yesterday, she is ok with it, but a day goes by, and she is— ”

“She probably just takes pity on you, you look pretty shaken up.” Steve runs a hand through his hair, just happy to see Danny’s face, “So, you are here for some cuddling?”

“I, I don’t know.” Danny hums, sits down right next to Steve. Steve automatically slides closer to him, but Danny stands up just when their knees are going to bump.

Shit, a chill runs down Steve’s spine and wakes him up completely.

“Danny—”

“What is this?” Danny walks right to the suitcase sitting in the dark, clothes still sticking out, “Why are you packing? Where, where are you going?” 

“I don’t know.” Steve messes his hair, “Just gonna go on a vacation. You know, like you always tell me to.”

“Huh? So after all these years, you pick this time to act on my words?” Danny stares at him, hands waving in the air, “Well, I don’t want you to go this time, you stay.”

Steve looks back and forth dramatically, “Bossy, bossy, Danny. What? I am not allowed to have a little vacation, Boss?” he says with a teasing smile.

“What did I say about lying in this house, Steve?” Danny clenches his teeth; Steve’s heart jumps at the memory of that day.

“Ok, I’m done pretending we are ok if you are not being honest, Steve. We are not ok.” Danny steps closer, locking eyes with his, “But you are not leaving me.”

Steve likes it when Danny tries to give him order and knows deep down he is not going to follow them. But this is different. This time Danny is not drowning him with all the arguing and they are not exchanging lovely flirty retorts.

Danny is not a demanding person. All his orders for Steve are just a disguise for pleading.

Steve is going to miss the hell out of it, he should have given it to Danny more, agree with him more often maybe, just so he can remember how lovely Danny smiles when   
he does listen, since how he is not going to this time.

Danny would never admit to himself, but Steve can tell whether Danny really wants him around or not. He reads people well.

“What…what is that face?” Danny steps even closer, nearly poking a finger onto his face, “You are not just leaving me, you are leaving five-o. What is wrong with you, huh? Are you going to leave Hawaii as well?”

Steve gives in and sighs, buries his face into his hand. The yelling blurts into his ear, causing him to flinch, not that Danny seems to notice.

“Where, where are you even going to? Back to the army? You know that five-o doesn't stand without you, right?”

“It’s the Navy—”

“That’s where you are going back to?” Danny says accusingly, “Running away because you are scared?”

“What else am I suppose to do? Of course I am scared. The question is why aren’t you scared.” Steve stands up, anger boils. He doesn’t even know why he is scared. But the anger is just there, like it is just hiding there all along.

“You think just because you had me up against the wall, I will be terrified of you?” Danny shoots the anger right back.

“You do get petrified easily.” Steve shrugs, “You do says I’m gonna kill us every time I drive.” He doesn’t get angry nearly as often as Danny, but his anger doesn’t last long either.

“That’s the point. I’m living in this big shade of danger called Steve McGarrett for five years. Why do you I suddenly can’t handle you now? ” Danny huffs, “And if you are thinking of leaving because of me, forget about it, I don’t want to find another job.”

“But I wasn’t trying to hurt you when we are on a case. I want to, this time, to hurt you. I don’t think I can live with that. ” Steve waves a hand between them, as if it would end their nonsense fighting.

Danny is scared of him, he know, no matter how much Danny doesn’t want to admit it.

“That’s not you.” Danny says. And Steve sighs inwardly. That’s the biggest problem. Partly, this is actually him, this is what he wants.

Maybe it’s the best timing he gets for this— he’s got nothing further to lose.

“And that me, that you think I would be scared because I got bad encounters with alphas. ” Danny gestures to himself, “That is a long long time ago. It’s history. And you are not them, I trust you better than that.”

But he shouldn’t. Steve is suddenly mad all over again. He closes in on Danny rapidly. “Really? What happened to no lying in this house?” He curves his lips coldly, he is just so angry. 

Why is Danny being like this? Like he isn’t scared and all he wants is to fix things. 

Steve’s best guess is that Danny now knows that Steve’s broken, he feels responsible, that he’s Steve’s best friend and partner.

Steve has hurt enough people in the name of friend and partner already. Not Danny, no.

Steve guesses he does need to tell Danny everything for Danny to understand.

“I’m not lying!” Danny shouts at him, pokes him in the chest, “Now you listen—”

Steve catches Danny’s wrists and pushes Danny until he’s back is against the wall. He pins Danny’s resisting wrists on the wall next to Danny’s head. And he leans close.

Close enough to notice Danny’s breath hitches in his throat and his body is shaking. He knows this already, but it’s still unbearable to really see it.

Danny opens his mouth and forces words out of him mouth, “Very funny, Steve.” He tugs again, Steve doesn’t let go, “You’ve made your point, now let me go.”

“No, I don’t think you understand, Danny.” He brushes his lips over Danny’s ear. Danny shivers under his grip, his ear burning. “This, this is me Danny. I want you.”

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?” Danny sounds less like he is going to cry, but furious now.

Steve retreats, looking at Danny in the eyes, “It means that I’m in love with you, Danny. I mean it like ‘love’ love. And alpha or omega, I don’t care, but I do want to fuck you.”  
He backs off from Danny before he is ordered to. Feels pain heaving in his chest. He closes his eyes, waiting to hear the sound of Danny leave.

“Since when?” Danny asks after a whole two minutes of utter silence, “How long do you know?”

“Around ten months.” Steve answers, feeling numb inside because he’s trying his hardest not to feel at all.

Danny hums. And sits down next to Steve again. Steve looks at him in surprise.

“Look, Steve. You are right. I am scared, and pissed as hell. I am afraid of you and I am angry with you. And I know you are angry with me, Steve. “ Danny puts up a hand and stops him from asking.

“But you can’t just walk away, man. I am trying to fix things. Can you at least give me a chance? For everybody’s sake. God, man, you can’t just leave. I can’t…” Danny falls silent, griping for a better control of his emotion.

“Why do you still want me around after this? Why are you so devoted on fixing things? You are not safe around me.” Steve stares at Danny stupidly; he honestly doesn’t get what Danny is saying.

“Jes, man. Where does all these inane ideas come from?” Danny throws his hand up in the air like he’s been teaching a seven-year-old to do two plus two and fails.

“You literally got a whole big box of heat powder down your throat. There’s no way you can control it. Just like you can’t shot up a bag of cocaine into your system and will your body to not DIE.”

Danny shouts out, his voice chocking a little

He is keeping something, Steve reads that well, this kind of tone only happens when Danny is not telling his something.

“And we are friends, Steve. Learn to appreciate that.” Danny pats his shoulder. Steve just stays in silence and waits him out. He counts the time silently. Danny doesn’t last longer that ten seconds.

“And I can’t bearing lose you again. Yes, I have a lot of negative emotions towards you right now. Normally, I wouldn’t want to see you, I would suggest we take some time to chill. Just because I am always a coward about this.”

Danny grips his hand, hard. Thumb squeezes painful on his veins, pulse jumps underneath. Steve squeezes back.

“But they told me they didn’t know if you are gonna make it or not.” Danny runs a hand over his hair, “You didn’t see yourself in there, Steve. When they finally get you out of the fucking warehouse.”

Steve’s so pale, the wounds on his arm is bleeding badly again, along with the cuts he makes on his wrists. The cuffs don’t have a sharp edge, but it eats into Steve’s flesh anyway.

Danny can see the pulse jumping on Steve’s neck, his heart is pumping too fast, push more and more blood out of his body.

He should have helped Steve, should have found a way to stop the bleeding. But he was too scared, so he sat there, he fucking sat there and watched as Steve bleed to death.

And then they told him that Steve’s heart had stopped beating.

“You are saying my heart stop beating for two seconds?” Steve rubs his hand, pats his chest where his heart lies underneath. He doesn’t remember any of this. The idea of himself dying is not pleasant, it’s disturbing in some level.

But not as disturbing as it should be. He thinks about it and he doesn’t like it. Maybe he shouldn’t be thinking about it anymore. Be grateful for what you have, they say to him, and right now he has Danny in front of him and he doesn’t want that gone, “I’m very sorry, Danny.”

“What, what are you sorry about?” Danny growls in frustration, “You almost DIED! Why are you not freaking out? ”

Steve shrugs.

“Don’t tell me that happened before.” Danny sighs and shakes his head, “Never mind, I don’t wanna know. Maybe you are ok with this ‘I could have died’ thing. I’m not. You are right. I am scared. But I am more freaked out, ok? I almost lost you forever. I was terrified. So you are not leaving. I didn’t go through all this shit so you can disappear again. I’m going to have a cardiac arrest. ”

“A what?” Steve raises an eyebrow.

“That’s what they said you have, along with other things.” Danny huffs.

“Is that why you think I am angry with you? Because you were trying not to throw up instead of warping my wounds? That’s ridiculous, Danny.” Steve moves closer. Shit, he would say dying is worth it if it gets Danny to want his to stay.

“No, I know you are angry with me because of what I said.” Danny points at him.  
Steve crosses his arms, “Why would I be? You did what you have to do.”

Danny just looks at him, “Too much talking for one night?” He asks.

“I’m not angry.” Steve stands up in front of Danny to emphasize his point, “Come on, Danny. I’m not easily wounded as you are.”

“Oh, no, I know you better than that, you are a soft-cookie on the inside, Steve.” Danny crosses his arm too, looks up at Steve challengingly, “Why don’t you tell me what were you dreaming about before I got here?”

“How does it matter?” Steve panics at little at the recollection of the nightmare.

“You were, ” Danny waves a hand at him, “you were…Listen, Steve, I know what it’s like to have your old wounds tear up. We all got our fair shares at this. I can tell, Steve, and if we are gonna have this work, you need to get over it or let it out.”

Maybe he is a little bit angry, the anger that Danny gives a fresh terror to his nightmare. He is a big boy, he can admit that Danny is right, to himself.

But if Danny thinks it matters more than not what Danny is offering, he is wrong.

“I think I can get over it if you let me stay.” Steve smiles with his best, he is happy, “I’m fine, Danny, It’s been a very long time.”

“Of course you are staying, what have I been telling you since I get here.” Danny says with that glowing sweet grin he only wears when Steve does what he says.

“Come here.” Danny pulls him into hug. It’s not such a surprise, but Steve still hesitates. Danny shakes his head.

“Come on, like you said, it’s a very long time ago. I’m alright.” Danny looks at him reassuringly. And Steve lets out a breath, then melts into the hug He grips Danny hard in his embrace. Man, Danny smells good again. Faint, barely there, relaxing to be in.

“Says somebody who only told his team he is an omega two weeks ago.” Steve mutters, banter just for banter’s sake. He actually has no oppositions in this circumstance. He can stay, Danny is still tight with him, Danny is not freaking out over Steve has a crush on him. It’s the best he can hope for.

“That,” Danny ends the hug, looks at him, hands still on his shoulder. He looks very serious, makes Steve wonder just what he says is important. He is not really questioning anything; he just likes to ask stuff.

“It’s not as easy as it is now.” Danny says, “You know, hide that you are an omega. I’ve been faking alpha ever since police academy. So that, you know, it’s harder for other people to find out. And I could get in trouble, if I’m not in five-o, with the immunity thing. I will be in serious trouble. And you will have three dis-charged ex-cop in your team.”

“I wouldn’t mind.” Steve shrugs. Smiling non-stop. Today is one of the rare days that he likes the voice of Danny talking.

“Yeah, you like broken stuff, I get it.” Danny scratches the his nose, “Guess I am like that after all. I wasn’t really hiding, you know, for that four years. It just becomes such a habit, everything is great, the need to come clean never comes across.”

“But you did.” Steve frowns, “Something wrong?”

“No, no, no, ” Danny shakes his head, his hands waving as well, “Just there are something I need to tell you that is best if I put the whole truth on the table. So I decided, I can just tell everyone. Not that I don’t trust you with a secret. Just, you’ve never been on your best behavior with the whole omega thing either. I just think you would start acting weird and you would slip. Then Kono would be so mad—”

“What were you trying to tell me?” God, Danny can really miss the whole point of a conversation he himself started.

Danny is still mumbling things like he’s nervous. Steve has to wave a hand before his eyes, “Here, Danny, what were you telling me? You don’t have to tell me is you don’t want to.”

Lie, he’s gonna so curious that he can’t stop himself.

“No, no, I want to tell you. I will tell you right now.” Danny gestures him to come closer.

“It’s not like my house is bugged. I cleared it last time—” Steve rolls his eyes but leans his ear in anyway.

“You idiot.” Danny mutters under his breath. And yanks at Steve’s shirt, cuts him off with a kiss.

“Oh.” Steve says stupidly. And Danny kisses him harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot of comfort here maybe, but I think kissing and making out in the next chapter will make it better?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny can handle each other just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and smuuut.  
> Just the usual stuff you would expect at this point of time.

He wraps his arms around Danny, and kisses back, can't help himself. Danny laughs low in his throat, echoing into Steve’s mouth through their kiss.

“Wait, Danny, are you sure it’s a good idea?” Steve pushes back and Danny groans.

“That’s the first thing you say after a kiss? How do you even get a date?” Danny jabs at him, but his mouth curves up.

“You tell me.” Steve can’t help smiling whenever he’s with Danny and they are not a case. No matter is Danny is happy or he is pissed, he is mostly cute.

“You have no shame.” Danny rolls his eyes and closes in to kiss him again.

Steve pushes him away again. Danny is starting to look angry.

“But seriously, Danny, you think you can handle this?” Steve searches everywhere for his words, he’s a little terrified for reasons he’s not cleared about. He just doesn’t want hurt anyone, he just doesn’t want to do something wrong and lose Danny.

“What, what do you mean if I can handle this?” Danny glares at him, “I can handle alphas just fine for nearly a decade and I think I can tolerate you. The only question is do you want this or what?”

“I do, Danny. Of course I do. But I’m also controlling and selfish. I am, like you said, very much an alpha. Are you sure you want this?” Steve spread out his hand, not touching now. “Because once it’s started, I am not letting go.”

“Look who just admits to being a control freak and a penny pincher.” Danny folds his arms, and looks Steve up and down, “Guess some kissing and touching do get it out of a guy.”

“You just freaked out when I pushed you to the wall, Danny.” Steve traces a finger down Danny’s face, “Are you sure you are ok with this?”

“I’ve spent enough time suffering, Steve.” Danny tugs at him, “I’m not letting them stop me from fucking the alpha I want to fuck any longer. Now, are we doing this or not?”

“I’m not good at this, Danny. I don’t want to hurt you.” Steve lets himself be pulled close to Danny. The way Danny says fuck is really doing something wicked to his dick.

“Didn’t I tell you already that I’m not delicate, Steve.” Danny bites his neck suddenly, causing Steve to yelp, the fire burning fiercer under his skin. He growls a little. Hands wraps Danny’s waist.

“That’s right, Steve.” Danny presses close, rubbing until their crouches meet. Steve groans loudly. Feels amazing.

“I actually wouldn’t mind some manhandling, Steve.” Danny nips at his tightly clasped hand, Steve’s fighting it, the need to control, “If you promise me you can give it to me good.”

“You sure?” Steve smiles predatorily. 

Danny nods. “Sure.” And smashes their crouches together again, “Or why would I need an alpha?”

Steve squints, “You are only using me for my body, Danny?”, presses closer and grabs a handful of Danny’s ass, closes in to like Danny’s earlobe, it’s hot and red, cute. Danny laughs.

“You asked for it.” Steve whispers before he pushes back and lifts Danny into the air. Danny nearly screams, Steve tumbles, nearly falls into the sofa.

“You are heavy.” He murmurs to Danny’s chest.

“When you try to lift a full-grown man, of course they feel heavy!” Danny shouts, hands grabbing Steve’s shoulder for dear life. Legs wrapped tightly around Steve’s   
waist. 

“What? Too much?” Steve looks up at Danny and starts to move towards to the bedroom. Too much stairs, he decides, and turns for the sofa.

“I bet you can kiss it better.” Danny looks like he is a little too excited, he grabs Steve’s chin and bends down to kiss him roughly.

Steve falls into the sofa with Danny on top of his, knocking all the air out of his body. Danny doesn't seem to notice, he is laughing a little bit hysterically. Like he is very nervous and high at the same time.

“Wow, it’s been a long time.” Danny pants, and Steve takes the chance to catch his breath and flips himself onto Danny.

“Kiss me and tell me I’m pretty.” Danny says and goes for Steve’s mouth again. This time Steve is very prepared. He goes full on and quickly takes control, sucking and licking at Danny’s lips. Danny tries to keep up and kisses him back sloppily. This here, is really the best outcome he can have for the night. Everything’s so right with Danny’s lips under him.

“You are very pretty, Danny.” He pulls up and grins, flashing his teeth.

“I bet you say that to every girl in your bed.” Danny smiles, more relaxed now.

“You are definitely the only pretty girl who’s been in this sofa.” Steve buries his noes into Danny’s neck, the smell getting stronger and stronger.

“I don’t even care.” Danny pushes Steve up, then yanks at his shirt, “Off, off, it’s the perfect timing now to have your shirt off, McGarrett.”

Steve couldn’t be happier to obey. His smile grows wilder as Danny sucks a breath in when Steve unfasten his pants too.

“Look at you.” Danny reaches up to kiss him again, hands rimming all over his body. The warm and solid touch makes Steve craves for more. It feels so good. Danny’s rough touch leaves all the skin he has touched too hot for the chilly air. Every hair on Steve’s skin stands up.

Steve hums contentedly, he kisses Danny slow and sweeting, unbuttoning Danny’s shirt, strips the clothes off Danny’s broad shoulder and kisser Danny’s shoulder. 

Marking every inch of Danny’s skin with his mouth while he slowly unravels Danny’s naked upper body.

Danny hums and wiggles out of his clothes, gripping at Steve’s back. “You need to hurry up and fuck me, Steve. ” He pulls Steve back to him with one hand and stokes Steve’s length with the other.

Steve’s breath hitches in his throat. “I think we are a long way from there.” He bats Danny’s hand away, lightly pins it on the sofa, “I’m in control here.”

“I know that, but” Danny pushes his up until Steve’s sitting on his heels. And kicks his pants away in a hurry, putting his naked form on display in front of Steve’s eyes.

Steve’s hands are on Danny’s thighs in a flash, moving up and down, feel the soft skin under his grip and the way Danny moans every time he touches his erection.

“That’s right.” Danny wraps his legs around Steve’s waist, “Save your gentleman act for another night. What I want is an alpha now.”

Steve tenses a little, uneasiness swimming in his chest. Danny seems to notice, but he pulls Steve closer while rubbing Steve’s dick with his own.

“I want an alpha to fuck me good, to pin me into the sofa and knot inside me till I scream, Steve. You want to do that for me?” He whispers in Steve’s ear before biting him on the shoulder.

Steve groans, harder than ever. “Yes, yes. God, Danny, your mouth.” He reaches over to bite Danny’s lips, “I’m gonna fuck those lips someday, I’m gonna fuck your mouth till your throat is so raw you can’t rant for a day.”

“Yeah, yeah, fuck me, Steve. Fuck me right now.” The way Danny seems to get harder with every word Steve says reassures him.

Steve pulls himself up, Danny stares at him. “I’m gonna grab some supplies.”

Danny doesn’t let him go, high in his libido.

“The reason I want an alpha now.” Danny sits up and wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, pulls Steve down again with him, “Is because I’m leaking.”

It takes Steve four seconds to figure out what Danny means. He reaches his hand between Danny’s ass and he feels it, Danny moans.

“You are…wet. I, I thought you were on blockers.” Steve’s dick twitches, demanding it’s need to be in Danny’s slippery hole.

“I am, but I only took it once this morning. I guess it doesn’t kick in that fast.” Danny wiggles, smiles sheepishly, “But don’t worry, Steven, I’m on birth control this whole time.”

Steve blushes, the thought of Danny carrying is new, in fact, he has never thought about it before. But now…

“Your face is burning you dirty bastard.” Danny caresses his face, and looks at Steve with in a interested way,” Seriously? Steve, you wanna knock me up?”

Steve blushes harder and shoves a finger into Danny’s hole. Danny grips his shoulder hard and yelps.

Danny is really wet, Steve’ s finger goes into the heat without any resistance, buries deep in Danny’s ass. He wiggles his finger, Danny whines, contrasting around his fingers.

Shit, Steve is desperate to find out how good it will feel around his cock.

He pushes two fingers in and Danny welcomes him. Rounds himself around Steve harder, squishing him. Steve wonders if that’s why he’s feeling out of breath.

He pulls half of his fingers out, and shoves it back slowly, stretching Danny open. Danny moans and throws his head back, rocking his hips to push himself onto Steve’s finger.

Steve starts to smell it, the way he is leaking pre-come along with the mucus straddling down Danny’s ass, makes the smell strong enough to be smelled even if they are both on blockers.

Danny is really leaking. Steve pushes in a third finger smoothly. 

“Sorry about your sofa.” Danny stops the moaning and smiles shamelessly at Steve.

Steve is a little too far gone for banters. He pulls out of Danny’s ass to put his hand on Danny’s hips. His cock jumps to line up at Danny’s hole.

“Never know that sofa is what’s setting you off, you really like this sofa, man.” Danny stares at him with wide eyes, he is already pushing himself onto Steve’s dick. But 

Steve holds him down. Danny looks at him, grips at the sofa cover, challengingly, “Am I in trouble?”

“I’m doing this good enough if you are still talking. I think I just found a way to improve this.” Steve smiles sheepishly, and pushes his cock into Danny’s hole in one long, smooth stroke.

“And oh, yes, you are in trouble.” Steve says after he is buried deep in Danny’s hole, and he pulls back and fucks in hard, causing Danny to cry out.

“You are doing an excellent job, Steve, extraordinary.” Danny grumbles, eyes screwed shut, chewing on his lips, ‘More, come on, Steve, fuck me more.”

He can do that.

Steve does his best and fucks into Danny’s sweet warm hole good. His balls slap Danny’s ass cheek every time.

The way Danny moans and calls his name over and over again is the best noise he’s ever heard.

“You just don’t know how to shut up, right?” Steve says while pulls up and fucks in extra hard.

“No, no,” Danny exclaims and laughs out loud, “I don’t, I am just keep, keep on talking—”

Steve pushes in again.

“Oh, my god. Steve, I love your cock.” Danny howls deep, gripping on the sheet knuckle-white. ”—Until you shut me up.”

“Is that an challenge?” Steve runs his hand over Danny’s chest, still inside Danny’s body, deliberately teasing.

“No, that is an order. Steve McGarrett, fuck me till I can’t speak.” 

“Oh, bossy, bossy, Danny.” Steve growls, he really can’t keep still any longer either. “Guess I need to show you who is the real boss here.”

Steve grips Danny’s wrists and pins them lightly on the sofa. Not hard enough to hurt, Danny can get away if he wants to.

But it’s another story if Danny just wants to stay there, has nothing to grip onto, and has no choice but rides all Steve’s force.

Danny doesn’t pull away, “Of course you are the boss, buddy. You are the one who gives out my paycheck.” Steve takes a minute to appreciate how Danny’s eyes curve as well when he smiles before he gets to work, fucks Danny’s sentence shattered.

He takes a fast and rough pace, bumping into Danny’s hole again and again, heat and furious, he is not sure he hits the sweet spot every time. But it doesn’t matter, because Danny is moaning and rocking his hips with Steve’s rhythm.

Steve fucks Danny in sincere, pushing and filling him, Danny hasn’t said a complete sentence except, “Fucking harder, Steve.”, So yeah, he’s doing alright.

“You like it?” Steve says breathlessly, smiling smug. “Yes, yes, Steven.” Danny pants, twisting underneath him, “God, I’m close, touch me, please.”

Steve ignores him, Danny whines. So Steve lifts Danny’s leg and spreads his ass check further and fucks into Danny deeper, the heat in there killing him. He moans, thrusting harder in Danny’ tight hole.

Danny cries out, hands twisting under Steve’s grip as he comes and Steve fucks him through his orgasm.

Danny bites hard on his own lips, his hole wraps Steve’s dick tight as he loses himself in his orgasm. Steve pants hard, “Shit, Danny, shit.” He thrusts a few more time, then he pulls up and comes all over Danny’s hip.

He collapse onto Danny post-orgasm, he can feel his dick knotting up in the air, that kind of sucks.

Danny sees it too. “What the hell?” He pokes Steve’s shoulder, “Didn’t I tell you to knot up in me?”

Steve runs a hand through his face, “I have never done that before.”

“You have never knot up in an omega?” Danny says disbelievingly, “You have more issues than I do. You know that thing lasts longer like that if it’s not in something, right? Do you, do you have a…”

“It doesn’t last that long with me.” Steve rubs his still hard cock on Danny’s body, “I’m on blockers.”

Danny gives his some very funny look, “You can still have it work normally once you stop using, right?”

“I think it would.” Steve pushes himself up so he can shrug, “I’m eighty percent sure.”

“That’s good.” Danny purses his lips together and nods, “That’s good. We can work on the rest.”

“You really want me to knot in you, right?” Steve raises his eyebrows; Danny has a lot more kinks that he imagined.

“Yeah—” Danny puts out his hand, “It’s fine, Steve, I would only like you a little bit less if you can’t ever knot again.” 

“Oh, you like me plenty.” Steve grins and kisses Danny on the mouth. Danny kisses back. “Now, do you wanna see how much you like getting sucked off in the shower?” Steve says without blushing while helping Danny to his feet.

Danny blushes, he stalks off to the shower, Steve trails after him.

“How about,” Danny starts, tension in his voice, “I suck you off on my knees if you would go to therapy with me.”

Steve pushes Danny into the shower and gets sitting on his heels, he looks up at Danny and says, “I would because I love you.” Before pins Danny’s hip on the wall and takes Danny’s cock into his mouth.

“I sure love you too right now.” Danny groans, his dick twitching again. But he pushes Steve away.

Steve wipes his mouth and looks at Danny a little worried.

Danny gets down sitting and kisses Steve.

“Seriously, seriously, just to make sure. Would you go to see the therapist with me?” Danny looks Steve in the eye, Steve leans in and nods, “Yes, Danny, I would, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Danny mutters while feeling his ears burning.

 

They are on a way to become better, life is looking a lot prettier with another soul cuddling in his arms to keep the nightmares away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I just want a fic where both of them have issues, so here it is, but not really what I expected. Most fixing and healing is not described in this fic. But I feel like the flow is not bad. Should be finished in a week.


End file.
